WHERE IS THE LOVE?

No, I am not talking about the song by the Black Eyed Peas, I am genuinely asking the church, where is the love? It has been a struggle! I know this might sound trivial to some of you seasoned Christians, but I have been finding this season very disheartening. I have been on what seems like a rollacosta when it comes to church. Since parting ways with my old church, it has been eye-opening to see what is going on in other places. I know in my last post I had said that I had found a church, but I think I may have been too quick in making that decision. I think in my desperation to just find myself settled somewhere, I choose too quickly. It was so refreshing to go to a church that was unapologetically proclaiming Jesus and the importance of living holy. I didn’t even realise how thirsty my spirit was for that message! I didn’t hesitate to sign my name up. But, I quickly learnt that even though the word being preached is important, it’s not the only thing I needed.

After attending that church for over a month, I found that the people were not that friendly or warm. I couldn’t feel the love of Jesus reflecting from the congregation. I know that may sound harsh, but as someone new attending the church, not many people would talk to me. Other than the pastor and his wife, only one person had gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed. After service, the pastor always tells people to stay for tea’s and coffee and fellowship. But if my friend, who had invited me to that church, wasn’t there, I would find myself sitting alone. I have never been a shy recluse scared to talk to people I don’t know. I talk to everyone! I love meeting new people. But this was different. I found people to just go off in their groups and chat amongst themselves. Even when passing by them, trying to see if anyone would open themselves up to engage with me, I was just met with a polite smile as they continued on in their groups. This made me feel so lonely. I found myself going to church because I didn’t want to get out of the habit that I had for the last 6 years. I was no longer excited in the same way I used to be. I felt like a child going to school because they had to, not because they wanted to. That made me feel sad.

I remember when I first attended my old church, the welcome I received was what kept me coming back at first. The love and care they showed to me, a stranger, felt like being accepted into a family after being an orphan all your life. It wasn’t just from the leadership. It was everyone! People went out of their way to talk to you because they knew they had not seen you before. There was a genuine feeling of a desire to connect. Because of this welcome, which was the culture of that church, I learned to do the same because that was all I knew. I assumed that was the way of church! I was wrong. I realise that I need a church with a solid word and the love of Jesus. I can’t have one without the other. Unfortunately, the church I thought would be my new home is lacking in what I need, so back to the drawing board I go. Although I haven’t run out of churches to visit in my area, it is becoming disheartening. Attending churches that I see are very off in what they teach; it feels like I am gonna run out of churches, finding myself in the same position.

1 TIMOTHY 4:12 ” DON’T LET ANYONE THINK LESS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG. BE AN EXAMPLE TO ALL BELIEVERS IN WHAT YOU SAY, IN THE WAY YOU LIVE, IN YOUR LOVE, YOUR FAITH, AND YOUR PURITY.” On Sunday, I visited a church that reminded me of this scripture. The preacher started off well in his message but then lost me when he said that reading your bible at home doesn’t build your faith, only hearing the word, meaning only by coming to church on a sunday to listen to your preacher will you increase your faith. Safe to say, I won’t be back there again, but being a mature Christian means being able to discern what is good from what is bad. So, I threw away the bad and kept what was good from that message. I think the body of Christ may have forgotten how to love. In a world where the love of man runs cold, sometimes the culture of the times we live in seeps into the church. I know that this doesn’t apply to the whole body of Christ, but no matter how small a group is, it’s still too much. Sometimes showing love to others, especially others that may not be living the way you think is right can seem like affirmation of a life that is opposed to God, but even Jesus showed love to those who lived a life opposed to God. He gave them truth in love, not out of condemnation. His love for them didn’t affirm their behaviour. It was meant to expose the darkness within them by showing them the light. We are meant to be an example of that kind of love. So if someone walks into your church, you should rejoice and seek to know who they are and discern why God has brought them there. We can’t forget that we are workers among the harvest.

I never liked the idea of attending mega churches because I always thought that too many people would affect how you connect in that environment. But I have learnt that even the smaller churches can create a feeling of disconnect. I have learnt so much about myself and what kind of church goer I am. It has felt like I am creating a checklist of wants and needs when it comes to finding a church. I know that God is pruning me in this season, and I am learning about what it means to walk with God even when my life isn’t wrapped up in serving my church and community. I realised that the way I was serving in my old church was subconsciously becoming like a way of working my way into heaven. I don’t think I would have ever realised that until it was taken away. It left me questioning my identity and what it meant to even be a believer. For the first time, I felt like I had lost my purpose in life. I work for a secular company, and I work shifts, which take up a lot of my time. So, when I was throwing myself into my church, I felt like that was the only way I could do work to build the kingdom of God here on earth. This is why God takes the bad things that happen in your life and turns it for good for those who love Him. Because, leaving my church felt like the worst thing that could ever happen a few months ago, but now I see what He is doing for me and how he is using this experience to shape me and build my faith.

ROMANS 12:1 “AND SO, DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I PLEAD WITH YOU TO GIVE YOUR BODIES TO GOD BECAUSE OF ALL HE HAS DONE FOR YOU. LET THEM BE A LIVING AND HOLY SACRIFICE-THE KIND HE WILL FIND ACCEPTABLE. THIS IS TRULY THE WAY TO WORSHIP HIM.” Sundays for the past 6 years have been an important part of my worship. Leading worship was a big part of who I was. But when God said it was time to leave these things, I obeyed but felt lost and unsure of what my worship actually meant to God. I forgot that it was more than a Sunday and more than a song. He has reminded me that how I live and conduct myself every day is worship to Him. Just because I don’t have a church right now doesn’t mean I don’t worship God. It’s so funny how you can misplace what is really important in your walk with God and get caught up in the details. Although I long to feel part of community and find a church to call home, the most important part of all is how I live everyday, because church or no church I will always be an ambassador of Jesus Christ, and that is everything.

As I continue on this path to find my community, I want to encourage you if you are in the same season as me. Please don’t give up your search, but don’t forget that being a Christian is more than just attending church on a Sunday. It is life every day. If you are fortunate to be a part of a local body, I encourage you to approach the new face at your church, lead with love because it makes all the difference. I want to end this post with scripture from 1 Corinthians. This scripture has been jumping out at me of late, and it’s a good reminder that without love, it’s all worthless. Your church can have the best preachers on a sunday, the best worship, great kids work, and packed seats, but without love, it means nothing!

1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-3 “IF I COULD SPEAK ALL THE LANGUAGES OF EARTH AND OF ANGELS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD ONLY BE A NOISY GONG OR A CLANGING CYMBAL. IF I HAD THE GIFT OF PROPHECY, AND IF I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF GOD’S SECRET PLANS AND POSSESSED ALL KNOWLEDGE, AND IF I HAD SUCH FAITH THAT I COULD MOVE MOUNTAINS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD BE NOTHING. IF I GAVE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO THE POOR AND EVEN SACRIFICED MY BODY, I COULD BOAST ABOUT IT; BUT IF I DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD HAVE GAINED NOTHING.”