Tag: JESUS

ENOUGH OF THE DISTRACTIONS!

Wake up! No, really, wake up! Jesus is waking up His church right now. We have been distracted long enough! Do you feel it? The pull to draw closer to Jesus? This feeling of urgency? I can’t help but feel it coursing through my blood! Honestly, I feel like I have been in a deep trance like sleep that I am only just waking up from. Since I felt the Lord telling me that I needed to revive my heart for Him, I have seen things so much more clearly now. I have seen and understood the schemes of the enemy trying to keep me docile and distracted. The main way he has distracted me has been through the body of Christ; the church! All the disappointment and hurt from the people that claim to love Jesus, had left me in a place where I had been so disheartened that it had affected my relationship with Jesus. I know I spoke about it before but I feel I need to say it again, because I know that I am not the only one in this place right now. We know that we love the Lord, but everytime the body causes hurt to us we drift further away from where God needs us to be. Drawing away from the body, becoming cynical about the church, and lets keep it real, we all know what that is called; offence! and what does offence do? It hardens our hearts; causes us to grow cold; and God can not work with a heart of stone, He needs a heart of flesh! We become so weighed down by the disappointment of people, we become inactive for the Lord.

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My service was always linked to church. I work a lot, and I have always felt that I haven’t had much opportunity to make an impact for the Lord in that space, so church was always my focus. Take away the church, and that left me in a place scrambling to find new meaning. Most times feeling useless, which then led to me feeling even more disappointed and unmotivated. Even now, the church that I thought that I had found has left another trail of disappointment, but the difference now is knowing that Gods plan was never for me to plant my feet there in the first place. What the enemy had tried to use to sow even more division between me and the body of Christ, actually had the opposite effect. Praise God! I learnt what I needed to, and I made connections that have been fruitful and have brought the Lord glory, because in the end, isn’t that what it’s all about? What I believe the Lord has taught me is that my service was never about a church building! Yes, serving at church is a wonderful thing and is needed, so please don’t misunderstand what I am trying to say. But God has called us for so much more!

MATTHEW 28:18-20 JESUS CAME AND TOLD HIS DISCIPLES,”I HAVE BEEN GIVEN ALL AUTHORITY IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH. THEREFORE, GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS, BAPTIZING THEM IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. TEACH THESE NEW DISCIPLES TO OBEY ALL THE COMMANDS I HAVE GIVEN YOU. AND BE SURE OF THIS: I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, EVEN TO THE END OF THE AGE.” I know we are all familiar with the great commission. But God reminded me that my purpose was to share the good news of Jesus and to make followers of Jesus! Actually walk with people, teaching them the importance of obedience. I didn’t need a church building to sanction me to do what Jesus had already commissioned me to do. Sometimes we can forget that this great commission is not only for our pastors and church leaders, but for ALL the body of Christ! It was exactly what I needed to hear to get my mind back in the race. I started to think about how being consumed by the constant church disappointment had stopped me from being a productive Christian. Because if we stay focused on the disservice that the body has done to us, we stop serving all together!

Man kneeling and washing feet of older woman seated on chair in shelter
A volunteer gently washes an elderly woman’s feet at a busy homeless shelter

I always think of the parable of the talents. The one who buried his talent; not using it; not mulitplying it. God has given us all talents, special gifts that set us apart from one another. He has given them to us, not just for ourselves, but to serve others. We use it to bring Him glory, to see His kingdom come on earth! The enemy distracts us from being obedient and being fruitful. That is the reason why the harvest is ripe but the workers are few. We spend so much time online commenting on the state of the church, the false teachers and apostles. We are quick to call people out, quick to judge and crucify each other, but our lives lack fruit! And although we are called to warn and discern what is true, we forget that we need to be affecting our communites, our spaces, our homes. We are meant to make Jesus known! That is always first on the agenda.

I felt led to read and study the book of Revelation, because I believe we need to understand the times we are in and what is to come. Jesus speaks to the seven churches, calling out the good and the bad. The church I felt like I saw myself in, was the church of Ephesus. He saw all their hard work, their patient endurance. He knew they didn’t tolerate evil people. They knew how to discern the liars, those claiming to be apostles. He knew they patiently suffered for Him, without quiting! But look what He says next. REVELATION 2:4-5 “BUT I HAVE THIS COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. YOU DON’T LOVE ME OR EACH OTHER AS YOU DID AT FIRST. LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN! TURN BACK TO ME AND DO THE WORKS YOU DID AT FIRST. IF YOU DON’T REPENT, I WILL COME AND REMOVE YOUR LAMPSTAND FROM ITS PLACE AMONG THE CHURCHES.” The people of Ephesus had replaced their devotion with duty. They stopped serving with passion! They had correct doctrine, but not a correct heart! How scary to be in that place! Because it’s easy to feel righteous in that place, like you are doing everything well! I knew that was me. The church hurt had shown me how to discern evil among the body, but the constant disappointment had left me in a place of uselessness. Like the Ephesians, I stopped prioritising intimate fellowship with God. And that my friends is the great disception of the enemy! Because knowing how to discern evil, and knowing correct doctrine, was not enough to save my soul if I fell out of love with Jesus, and with the body of Christ. Remember, being in love and loving someone are two different things, they create a different approach in our heart posture.

Large glowing tree with colorful jewels and angels surrounding it in a lush, peaceful garden
Angels gather around a glowing, jewel-adorned tree in a serene, heavenly landscape

Our faith produces works. That’s why Jesus says to turn back to Him and do the works you did at first. I don’t know about you, but I want to be victorious and recieve the fruit of life! Since I have been on my journey reigniting my passion for the Lord, so much fruit has come out of it. I have seen others on the same journey, and they have been moved to think of ways that they can use their gifts to do what God is calling them to do. Getting back into my bible study has been a game changer. I was always casually reading the word, but studying it penetrates deeper, causing me to act, to think of ways I can use my gifts to share about Christ. I don’t need the church to lead me to do good works, I just need the Holy Spirit. There is a great verse Paul wrote to the Thessalonians which has been very impactful. A reminder that when we are ignited and our hearts burn for Jesus, we are moved by the spirit to do good things. That is my prayer for the body of Christ, especially those who have become jaded by the church. Make sure that you haven’t fallen out of love with Jesus! While we have the Grace of the lord, turn back and do the things you first did, when your hearts burned for Him. And in the words of Paul…

2 THESSALONIANS 1:11 “SO WE KEEP ON PRAYING FOR YOU, ASKING OUR GOD TO ENABLE YOU TO LIVE A LIFE WORTHY OF HIS CALL. MAY HE GIVE YOU THE POWER TO ACCOMPLISH ALL THE GOOD THINGS YOUR FAITH PROMPTS YOU TO DO.” AMEN.

MY TESTIMONY.

Happy hump day! We made it to Wednesday! It has been an interesting time of late. I honestly feel like God has been refining me in the last couple of weeks, because the trials of life have felt intense! But I have been thanking God through it all, as it has been helping me to put my faith into practice. Because at the end of it all, how do we know how we are doing in our walk with God, without the testing? I have learnt soo many lessons which I will share in another post, but for now, as promised, here is my testimony I got to share recently. I always say it’s good to go back to the beginning and remember how retched your life was before Jesus saved you. Maybe you just happened to stumble across this post not knowing a thing about Jesus, or how much better your life could be if only you just invited Him in. I pray that my journey will draw you closer to being in relationship with Him. Because that is what being a Christian is all about! It’s deep, meaningful relationship with Jesus. He desires to be known by you; He desires your heart!

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Galatians 5:19-21 says this (in the MSG translation) “ It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.” Paul goes on to say that if you live this way you will not inherit God’s kingdom. This pretty much sums up my life before I knew Jesus. November 2026 will be 7 years since the Lord redeemed me and I became a child of God.  If you had asked me 7 years ago if I was a sinner, I would have looked at you like you were crazy, because I believed I was good.

I don’t come from a church background. My earliest memory of church was being taken to Sunday school with my aunt when I was small. I can’t tell you what kind of church it was, who was there, or what was happening. I just have a vivid memory of sharing a gold cup of wine while kneeling at the front of an altar and taking communion. Sadly, my aunt stopped going to church, which meant I stopped going, and later she rejected God altogether. Growing up in a broken home, witnessing domestic violence and becoming a child of abuse, I did not see a good God, nor could I understand the concept of a sovereign God. I was smart enough to know there was a higher power, a creator of sorts, but I didn’t subscribe to religion. I was spiritual. I was open to spiritual things; I had spiritual experiences growing up. But if you asked me about the bible, I would tell you it was written by man so you couldn’t trust it; it was sexist and written to control women and make them seem weak; it was a book of rules used to oppress people. I believed there was nothing good in it.

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As I grew into an adult my ignorance of the bible intensified. I started to believe that all religions were worshipping the same god, they just didn’t know it. I thought, if everybody’s god was good, then they must be worshipping different personalities of the same god. It’s ridiculous, I know, but that’s how lost I was, thinking I knew everything, when I knew nothing! The problem was every time I would encounter a proclaiming Christian (it wasn’t often) I had these questions that they could never answer concerning their bible. Their lack of knowledge and understanding of the god they claimed to follow, left me feeling even more self-righteous and puffed up. I thought, they don’t even know what they believe. I remember being told I was going to hell a couple of times.

Entering my 30’s, my life was spinning out of control. I was trying to find meaning and purpose.  I had made terrible life choices in relationships, experiencing more abuse at the hands of men. I was looking for love and ways to love myself through as Paul put it “cheap sex.” Loneliness started to seep in and anxiety started to creep through my door. By 2018 Anxiety had moved in and made itself at home. I had never suffered with anxiety or depression before, so when it came, it hit hard! It got so bad that I had to be signed off work by my doctor because I wasn’t fit for duty. It was the darkest time of my life, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  To manage it and get back to normality I had to take medication.  I had to cut out a lot of things in my life because of fear of being triggered. I accepted that this was going to be my new life now. But God had other plans.

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The beginning of 2019, I was addicted to this karaoke app called smule. Singing was something I did in private, most people around me didn’t even know I could sing. I would have crippling anxiety at the thought of singing in public. Smule became my world, the place I found peace. I had friends around the world on this app who I would sing with. It was that year that I met a new group of friends. They were believers. One I grew close with, and we developed a friendship outside of the app. He lived in New York. He knew I wasn’t a believer and he never tried to convert me or pressure me. I respected his belief and he respected where I was at.  But as we got to know each other and become friends, he would share stories of the bible, but in a way that made them current. For some reason they would sound familiar to me, and I would quickly work out that they were bible stories.  This led to me being able to ask my impossible questions about the bible. And for the first time, I met someone who was not only able to answer them but would tell me about the bible in its context and help me to understand it. It was clear that he read and studied his word. Every time he answered a question, I was humbled. I felt stupid in my ignorance and that didn’t feel good. I was always used to being right. It was at that moment that I realised that I didn’t know anything about the bible, how could I, I had never read one before. I always saw myself as a fair person, and I realised I wasn’t being fair.  Now, I still believed the bible wasn’t good, all my views on it hadn’t changed. But for me to debate it and point out all its fallacies, I needed to see for myself so I could show my friend why it was bad.

Unbeknownst to my friend, I ordered my first KJV bible from amazon. I was set and ready to get stuck in. When it arrived and I opened it up to Genesis, I was confused and did not understand it. I messaged my friend and told him I had bought the bible and had planned to read it.  He was shocked but then laughed when I told him what version I got. With his guidance I got a translation I could understand, and he offered to read it with me. This was the beginning of November 2019. We combed through the pages of Genesis everyday of that month, four hours a day. I waited patiently to get to a part of the bible that I could highlight for my arguments, but it never came. I instantly knew what I was reading was truth. The words came alive and for the first time I realised that I wasn’t good, I was a sinner. By the end of the month, I said to my friend “I think I am a Christian.”

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My story isn’t a crazy one. Although my life wasn’t great, I wasn’t looking for Jesus. I didn’t even know I needed Him. Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” The word showed me myself in a way I hadn’t seen before. I instantly knew that everything I had been chasing in this world to fill this void in my soul wasn’t working because I needed Jesus. That space was always reserved for Him.  That was the relationship I needed that would heal everything. He has saved me in more ways than one. He plucked me out of the pit in his perfect timing, because If I didn’t find him when I did, I would have never survived the pandemic the way my anxiety was set up.  His way has proved to be the best way, and this is the first time in my life where I have felt whole and complete.

The pandemic was a good thing for me because it created space for me to sit in God’s word for the whole year of 2020. The world was closed but my world opened. I studied God’s word diligently everyday with my friend who discipled me. Before the year was up, I realised that my mind was being renewed by the word because I had been healed of my crippling anxiety. My desires changed and became His desires. I had been so radically changed that my friendships changed, and people became distant with me. I lost relationships, because I was no longer friends with the world. I lost things that no longer served me, but I gained something better, my very great reward!

A SABBATICAL?

Hello blog world, is anyone still there? I know! I know! I hear the questions of what happened, and where did you disappear to?! I can say something that sounds good and edifying, like I took a rest and decided to pour time into other things. I can even say I took a sabbatical, but that sounds too dramatic and disingenuous because its only a blog. Last year September, I had surgery on my hand which is why the last post on this blog was in August 2025. But when my hand recovered and I was able to type, I didn’t want to. My plan was never to stop writing, but I felt that I had nothing to pour out anymore, because I had become so disheartened and disappointed in my spiritual life. I didn’t realise my heart had grown cold. I still loved God, but my fire and zeal had burned out. I had fallen out of love. The Holy Spirit has given me a lot of revelation this year about my heart that I didn’t even realise. I thank Him for being my helper in all things! To really explain I have to go back to May 2025, when it all started.

I have never gone into too much detail about my old church and why I left. I probably won’t now, so if you are someone reading this from my old church you can breath easy. I spent six years of my life there, it was my first ever church; I got baptised there. It was a church that I thought I would always be a part of because to me it wasn’t just church on a Sunday, it was family; it was my whole life. It was a very charismatic church, and right now, if you pay attention to things being exposed online about certain charasmatic churches, you can understand some of the issues that seem to be common within these ministries. I can honestly say I have been very naive to certain things, and I have seen a lot of things that have bothered my spirit, but I never had a name for it. Understanding more now since being out of those spaces, and listening to discussions about these ministries, has helped me to process everything I have experienced in a way that has been healing. But it has taken me time to get to this place. My experience within the body of Christ left me with such a heavy heart, it affected my relationship and service to the Lord. The enemy definitely used those events to steal my joy. I realised now that even though I was pushing through and trying to shake off the negatives; making an effort to get back to some kind of normal, I stopped moving from a place of joy and love but out of duty instead, because I knew it was the right thing to do. That is not the kind of service or worship that pleases God.

Wooden sign on glass door reading 'Closed sorry we are reopening tomorrow at 9:00 AM'
A wooden sign on a bookstore door says it’s closed until tomorrow morning.

I had become so untrusting when it came to discerning the intergrity of churches, that it made it hard for me to fully place two feet firmly somewhere. I felt suspicious of everything and that was stealing my joy. I instantly understood why some Christians didn’t go to church and chose to stay disconnected from the body of Christ. I love the church, for God created it! But I fear that when I look at churches today, they have strayed away from God’s plan of what a church is meant to be, and the functions of it. I could go on and on about this, but maybe I’ll save it for another post. JOHN 15:4 “REMAIN IN ME, AND I WILL REMAIN IN YOU. FOR A BRANCH CANNOT PRODUCE FRUIT IF IT IS SEVERED FROM THE VINE, AND YOU CANNOT BE FRUITFUL UNLESS YOU REMAIN IN ME.” This scripture screamed at me because Jesus was showing me that I had stopped remaining in Him. Honestly, I argued with God about it like a petulant child, I was convinced that this couldn’t apply to me. I thought, because I hadn’t turned away from my faith and belief in Jesus Christ, that meant that I still remained in Him. I thought, the reason why I lacked fruit was because of the fact I hadn’t found a church that I could call home, so of course I couldn’t serve God in the way I previously had. But when the mirror was held up to my face, and I had no choice but to look at myself, I realised He was right! I saw how my life had shifted, how the spiritual practices I had held true to in my personal time had become almost non existant, or just something done casually without reverence. My prayer life had changed, and outside of praying for friends and family, I stopped talking to God. This is a dangerous place to be in, because when you get there the enemy see’s an open door and tries to enter in. Instead of sitting with the hurt and disappointment I experienced with God for a season, and allowing Him to heal my heart, I rushed the process and withheld it all from Him, so I could get back to normal. As I searched for churches and still could not find one, I grew cold. My heart was hardening and I didn’t know it. It wasn’t God I was upset with, it was His people. 1 JOHN 4:21 “AND HE HAS GIVEN US THIS COMMAND: THOSE WHO LOVE GOD MUST ALSO LOVE THEIR FELLOW BELIEVERS.” My love had turned into distrust, and once trust is gone, it is very hard to get back. I can openly say it has been a journey, but God had to remind me about the state of man and even myself. I thank God for His grace and mercy!

Heart-shaped ice ornament hanging on a snow-covered pine branch at night
A delicate heart-shaped ice ornament hanging from a snow-covered tree branch under a starry night sky.

I knew something was wrong when I started to struggle with sin that I had been set free from. I was battling with old thoughts and feelings that I thought were long behind me. That scared me and I couldn’t understand it. Why was this happening? I felt weak and it broke me down. I thought to myself, “I must be under attack and the enemy had set his sight on me” like I was so special and holy. Not realising that I had opened the door and invited him in! I was treating him like a guest in my house, making him comfortable. 1 JOHN 3:6 “EVERYONE WHO REMAINS IN HIM DOES NOT SIN; EVERYONE WHO SINS HAS NOT SEEN HIM OR KNOWN HIM.” My confirmation came loud and clear, I had stopped remaining in Him. That’s why sin was crouching at my door. It reminded me of Cain when he gave his offering to God and it wasn’t accepted. He did not abide in God like his brother did. That’s why God told him in GENESIS 3:7 “YOU WILL BE ACCEPTED IF YOU DO WHAT IS RIGHT. BUT IF YOU REFUSE TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, THEN WATCH OUT! SIN IS CROUCHING AT THE DOOR, EAGER TO CNTROL YOU. BUT YOU MUST SUBDUE IT AND BE ITS MASTER.” Unlike Cain, I listened to God! There is a reason that following God is something we have to decide to do daily. It’s like everyday we wake up and thank God for breath, we have to recommit ourselves and say ” Lord, help me to deny myself; die to my flesh; pick up my cross and follow you today!” The moment you start taking your walk with God for granted, is the moment the enemy starts to rub his hands together and devise his plan to destroy your life. We have to stay in a place of neediness with God, like a small child who leans on their parent for everything because they can not look after themselves. If we turn into a rebellious teenager as we grow in God, we take the risk of falling into the wrong company, which always currupts good character. Be obedient. All good things come to those who are obedient. And we know that God’s love language is obedience, for we can’t claim to love Him without it!

If you love God, and are someone struggling with sin, pick up the mirror and look deeply into yourself. Has something changed? Has something made your heart cold? Have you fallen out of love? Then I ask you this, when did you stop abiding in Him? It’s a hard question and the answer can be crushing. But take that Godly sorrow and use it to refan the flame of your heart. Go back to what you did when the fire was at it’s strongest! Talk to God like you used to when you were excited about the things of God. Trust God to heal the rest. Let Him comfort you, and know that He can, and He will stir up your heart again! This year has been a testimony of God’s grace and goodness in my life. I have my first love back and it feels wonderful! So I am happy to say that I am back and inspired to write again. It feels good. God blessed me with a spiritual family because He is just that good. I have learned so much from my previous experience, that I will go into this one differently. I am tuning my ear to His voice. I want to be where He is always! I had the privilege of sharing my testimony last week, and it was so good to remind myself what God has done in my life! The way He has blessed me and changed me! Sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning and remember what He has done for you. You can’t help but praise Him and give Him all the glory! The next post will be my testimony. I haven’t shared it since I first started this blog in 2021, so I think it’s time. Until then, God bless you all, and if you are still reading, thank you!

Anatomical heart surrounded by bright, vivid flames with detailed veins and arteries
An anatomical heart engulfed in vibrant flames against a dark background

THE THING ABOUT FAITH IS…

We talk about the importance of faith so much, almost like a well rehersed line that just rolls off the tongue without a second thought. When life is running smoothly, we don’t ever question our faith. Faith seems easy. Trusting in God is a walk in the park. But the true test of your faith comes with hardship. When you are sick, when you lose your job, when you lose a loved one. When the worst thing in your world happens, that is when we truly learn what it means to have faith.

This season has felt difficult. I feel like since becoming a believer, my faith has never truly been tested. For the past six years, I have been living in a cloud, and now I feel like I am free falling, anticipating a hard landing. It’s interesting how quickly you can become jaded when things don’t seem to go your way. I am not complaining, I think it’s been good to see things for how they really are. It has been making me more determined to understand what it means to be a believer and really please God! I have witnessed so many disheartening things happen to good people around me, people who fear God, and it made me think about what it actually means to have faith.

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HEBREWS 11:1 “NOW FAITH IS THE ASSURANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE CONVICTION OF THINGS NOT SEEN.” Imagine having hope for something, and being sure that you will receive that something you hope for. Having that certainty that runs so deep in your soul that no one can question or make you doubt it. That is what faith looks like. And when you have that type of faith, it makes you move differently. That’s why faith equals action! That’s why faith pleases God so much. There is something about watching a brother or sister going through lifes trials and tribulations, but not seeing their faith waiver in God, it acutually builds your faith when you witness it. Faith is powerful. That is why God says all you need is a mustard seed of faith to move a mountain. But you can’t have faith in God if you don’t trust Him, and if you have had a traumatic life where you have learned to not trust people, it can be very difficult to trust in what you do not see.

I remember when God first showed me that I didn’t trust Him. It was a time when I was dealing with a family crisis and instead of taking it to God, I decided to fall back to my old behaviours of dealing with things in my own strength, because for most of my life I had to protect myself by placing the unmaginable things in my imaginary box. Not dealing with things was how I survived. But God told me that I didn’t need the box anymore, that He would take care of me. I didn’t need to survive because He wanted me to live! I realised I still had this wall around my heart, and it was becoming a barrier in how I allowed God to flow into my life. As soon as I trusted God with everything and removed that barrier, I grew closer to him. You go to church, read the bible, repeat the words you read in this ancient book, but until you are tested, it’s hard to know how much everything you read really resonates in you.

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In pottery, fire is used to create durable and water-resistant vessels. God uses the imagery of a potter moulding and shaping his creation, illustrating His power to shape, reform, and control the destiny of His people. So fire can bring about purification, which means impurities are removed. And if we look at trials as going through the fire, then we know only good can come out the other side. Now, let’s use common sense because some trials are our own doing and very unnesscersary, but God in His goodness always has a way of turning the bad into good for those who love Him. JAMES 1:2-4 “DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHEN TROUBLES OF ANY KIND COME YOUR WAY, CONSIDER IT AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GREAT JOY. FOR YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR FAITH IS TESTED, YOUR ENDURANCE HAS A CHANCE TO GROW. SO LET IT GROW, FOR WHEN YOUR ENDURANCE IS FULLY DEVELOPED, YOU WILL BE PERFECT AND COMPLETE, NEEDING NOTHING.” The testing of faith is nesscersary! Because this walk is about enduring to the end. Our endurance will not grow if life is rosey. Like I said before, when life is good, faith is easy. We actually need to go through the fire so we can grow. In our weakness, God is made strong, so He expects us to rely on Him when we weather the storms of life instead of relying on ourselves. I always think of Peter walking on the stormy sea to meet His master Jesus. His confidence in taking his first step out onto that sea, the hope and conviction he had in his heart that he would and could do the impossible. All until he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at his situation with fear, and stopped believing that he could do the impossible because he started to move in his own strength, and of course he started to sink into that stormy sea. He cried out to Jesus to save him, and immediately Jesus reached in and pulled him out. The first thing Jesus says to Peter is, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” That is so powerful! It’s a reminder that no matter what the situation, how impossible, or how big it may seem, God is bigger, and there is nothing that He can not get you through. When we see what God can do, not just reading about it, but having our own tangible experience with Him, it changes us, and our faith deepens. People in this world can call you crazy for believing in God because of a book written thounds of years ago, but they can not refute your own personal testimony of God working in your life!

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Sometimes, we forget that Jesus warned us that in this world, we would have troubles. He warns us so that we will have peace and remember He has already overcome this world! It’s so easy to get caught up in the things of this world. The culture is constantly telling us what we should and should not have, or who we should or should not be. Just like a stormy sea, it can get loud and all consuming, and all it takes is us to take our eyes off Jesus for one moment, and then we become consumed! The only way to get through and tred water is to keep our faith and never doubt! Remember that we are nomads on this earth until Jesus returns.

I know that I want to leave this earth perfect and complete, needing nothing. I know that I will not come close to that without a few storms here and there. As James says, consider it an opportunity for great joy! So this post is just a reminder that even if you are going through the fire of life, just know that God is using it as an opportunity to refine and purify you. See it as a great joy to know that through that fire awaits a more developed you, a you that grows closer to becoming perfect and complete, needing nothing!

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

No, I am not talking about the song by the Black Eyed Peas, I am genuinely asking the church, where is the love? It has been a struggle! I know this might sound trivial to some of you seasoned Christians, but I have been finding this season very disheartening. I have been on what seems like a rollacosta when it comes to church. Since parting ways with my old church, it has been eye-opening to see what is going on in other places. I know in my last post I had said that I had found a church, but I think I may have been too quick in making that decision. I think in my desperation to just find myself settled somewhere, I choose too quickly. It was so refreshing to go to a church that was unapologetically proclaiming Jesus and the importance of living holy. I didn’t even realise how thirsty my spirit was for that message! I didn’t hesitate to sign my name up. But, I quickly learnt that even though the word being preached is important, it’s not the only thing I needed.

After attending that church for over a month, I found that the people were not that friendly or warm. I couldn’t feel the love of Jesus reflecting from the congregation. I know that may sound harsh, but as someone new attending the church, not many people would talk to me. Other than the pastor and his wife, only one person had gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed. After service, the pastor always tells people to stay for tea’s and coffee and fellowship. But if my friend, who had invited me to that church, wasn’t there, I would find myself sitting alone. I have never been a shy recluse scared to talk to people I don’t know. I talk to everyone! I love meeting new people. But this was different. I found people to just go off in their groups and chat amongst themselves. Even when passing by them, trying to see if anyone would open themselves up to engage with me, I was just met with a polite smile as they continued on in their groups. This made me feel so lonely. I found myself going to church because I didn’t want to get out of the habit that I had for the last 6 years. I was no longer excited in the same way I used to be. I felt like a child going to school because they had to, not because they wanted to. That made me feel sad.

I remember when I first attended my old church, the welcome I received was what kept me coming back at first. The love and care they showed to me, a stranger, felt like being accepted into a family after being an orphan all your life. It wasn’t just from the leadership. It was everyone! People went out of their way to talk to you because they knew they had not seen you before. There was a genuine feeling of a desire to connect. Because of this welcome, which was the culture of that church, I learned to do the same because that was all I knew. I assumed that was the way of church! I was wrong. I realise that I need a church with a solid word and the love of Jesus. I can’t have one without the other. Unfortunately, the church I thought would be my new home is lacking in what I need, so back to the drawing board I go. Although I haven’t run out of churches to visit in my area, it is becoming disheartening. Attending churches that I see are very off in what they teach; it feels like I am gonna run out of churches, finding myself in the same position.

1 TIMOTHY 4:12 ” DON’T LET ANYONE THINK LESS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG. BE AN EXAMPLE TO ALL BELIEVERS IN WHAT YOU SAY, IN THE WAY YOU LIVE, IN YOUR LOVE, YOUR FAITH, AND YOUR PURITY.” On Sunday, I visited a church that reminded me of this scripture. The preacher started off well in his message but then lost me when he said that reading your bible at home doesn’t build your faith, only hearing the word, meaning only by coming to church on a sunday to listen to your preacher will you increase your faith. Safe to say, I won’t be back there again, but being a mature Christian means being able to discern what is good from what is bad. So, I threw away the bad and kept what was good from that message. I think the body of Christ may have forgotten how to love. In a world where the love of man runs cold, sometimes the culture of the times we live in seeps into the church. I know that this doesn’t apply to the whole body of Christ, but no matter how small a group is, it’s still too much. Sometimes showing love to others, especially others that may not be living the way you think is right can seem like affirmation of a life that is opposed to God, but even Jesus showed love to those who lived a life opposed to God. He gave them truth in love, not out of condemnation. His love for them didn’t affirm their behaviour. It was meant to expose the darkness within them by showing them the light. We are meant to be an example of that kind of love. So if someone walks into your church, you should rejoice and seek to know who they are and discern why God has brought them there. We can’t forget that we are workers among the harvest.

I never liked the idea of attending mega churches because I always thought that too many people would affect how you connect in that environment. But I have learnt that even the smaller churches can create a feeling of disconnect. I have learnt so much about myself and what kind of church goer I am. It has felt like I am creating a checklist of wants and needs when it comes to finding a church. I know that God is pruning me in this season, and I am learning about what it means to walk with God even when my life isn’t wrapped up in serving my church and community. I realised that the way I was serving in my old church was subconsciously becoming like a way of working my way into heaven. I don’t think I would have ever realised that until it was taken away. It left me questioning my identity and what it meant to even be a believer. For the first time, I felt like I had lost my purpose in life. I work for a secular company, and I work shifts, which take up a lot of my time. So, when I was throwing myself into my church, I felt like that was the only way I could do work to build the kingdom of God here on earth. This is why God takes the bad things that happen in your life and turns it for good for those who love Him. Because, leaving my church felt like the worst thing that could ever happen a few months ago, but now I see what He is doing for me and how he is using this experience to shape me and build my faith.

ROMANS 12:1 “AND SO, DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I PLEAD WITH YOU TO GIVE YOUR BODIES TO GOD BECAUSE OF ALL HE HAS DONE FOR YOU. LET THEM BE A LIVING AND HOLY SACRIFICE-THE KIND HE WILL FIND ACCEPTABLE. THIS IS TRULY THE WAY TO WORSHIP HIM.” Sundays for the past 6 years have been an important part of my worship. Leading worship was a big part of who I was. But when God said it was time to leave these things, I obeyed but felt lost and unsure of what my worship actually meant to God. I forgot that it was more than a Sunday and more than a song. He has reminded me that how I live and conduct myself every day is worship to Him. Just because I don’t have a church right now doesn’t mean I don’t worship God. It’s so funny how you can misplace what is really important in your walk with God and get caught up in the details. Although I long to feel part of community and find a church to call home, the most important part of all is how I live everyday, because church or no church I will always be an ambassador of Jesus Christ, and that is everything.

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As I continue on this path to find my community, I want to encourage you if you are in the same season as me. Please don’t give up your search, but don’t forget that being a Christian is more than just attending church on a Sunday. It is life every day. If you are fortunate to be a part of a local body, I encourage you to approach the new face at your church, lead with love because it makes all the difference. I want to end this post with scripture from 1 Corinthians. This scripture has been jumping out at me of late, and it’s a good reminder that without love, it’s all worthless. Your church can have the best preachers on a sunday, the best worship, great kids work, and packed seats, but without love, it means nothing!

1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-3 “IF I COULD SPEAK ALL THE LANGUAGES OF EARTH AND OF ANGELS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD ONLY BE A NOISY GONG OR A CLANGING CYMBAL. IF I HAD THE GIFT OF PROPHECY, AND IF I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF GOD’S SECRET PLANS AND POSSESSED ALL KNOWLEDGE, AND IF I HAD SUCH FAITH THAT I COULD MOVE MOUNTAINS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD BE NOTHING. IF I GAVE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO THE POOR AND EVEN SACRIFICED MY BODY, I COULD BOAST ABOUT IT; BUT IF I DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD HAVE GAINED NOTHING.”

NOT ME, BUT GOD!

It’s been a strange season. I am a creature of habit, so the recent changes have left me feeling unsettled at times, not knowing my place or where I fit. It’s in the season of uncertainty that the temptation to be a lone wolf creeps in. The desire to govern yourself and trick yourself into believing that it’s you and God against the world, that you can trust yourself, because trusting others may have left you disheartened and hurt. That place is dangerous! That place can lead you back to the grave, the same grave that Jesus called you out of. It’s crazy how our flesh can talk us back into a life that is far from God. Our sin is like muscle memory. It can convert back to what it remembers. Although I have not revereted back to my past life, I can see how it can be so easy, and that to me is scary!

I am grateful to God that He has found me a new church home. I spent some time trying not to tie myself down so soon to a new church, but then realised I was a one church kind of girl, and church hopping wasn’t for me. The title of this post comes curtesy of my new pastor and a message he preached a couple of weeks ago. It got me thinking about how we can walk so close to God and then live a life like we never knew him. I didn’t believe that could be possible, at least not for me. But I have learned how circumstances can draw you to a place that you never thought was possible. It’s then that I am reminded that every day we wake up, we have to choose to follow Christ! We decide to die to ourselves and pick up our cross daily. Sometimes, I think we can take for granted that we are secure in God because we once professed Jesus Christ as our Lord and saviour. We see it often when we look to people who are popular, who in one sentence say they are Christian, but when you look at their life, it is not a reflection of Christ who died for us. Unfortunately, these are the people that the world looks to as an example of Christianity.

The bible speaks about turning back to our old ways and how bad of a state it leaves us in. The saying of when you know better you do better seems to be null and void. This is why when Jesus saves you, He doesn’t save you and leave you to fend for yourself in the wilderness. That would be cruel, and we serve a kind God. Instead, He saves you and adds you to the body, which He is the head. He adopts you into His family of believers and gives you new life and purpose. This is why being a part of the body of Christ (the church) is so important. EPHESIANS 1:5 “GOD DECIDED IN ADVANCE TO ADOPT US INTO HIS OWN FAMILY BY BRINGING US TO HIMSELF THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. THAT IS WHAT HE WANTED TO DO, AND IT GAVE HIM GREAT PLEASURE.” It’s the family of believers through the Holy Spirit who show us when we are off the righteous path. When we take ourselves away from the body of Christ and decide to trust ourselves, that’s when the serpent slithers close, whispering false truths in our ear. Then we start to make excuses for why something that we once believed was wrong, now starts to seem right.

2 PETER 2:20 “AND WHEN PEOPLE ESCAPE FROM THE WICKEDNESS OF THE WORLD BY KNOWING OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST AND THEN GET TANGLED UP AND ENSLAVED BY SIN AGAIN, THEY ARE WORSE OFF THAN BEFORE.” It’s a slippery slope that any one of us can find ourselves on. I have seen people make excuses for unholy living when God requires us to be holy because He is holy. They stop listening to Godly advice because it’s not what their flesh wants. We don’t even realise that it’s not the Spirit that we are living by. We don’t even realise when the flesh takes over. That’s what happens when you think you can live this life outside of the body of believers. Being doers of the word is what sets us apart from the world. It’s the foundation we build our lives upon that sets us up for success. My pastor reminded me that if you are not building your life on the word of God, given to us by the prophets and the apostles with Christ as the cornerstone, then all else is sinking sand.

MATTHEW 7:24 “ANYONE WHO LISTENS TO MY TEACHINGS AND FOLLOWS IT IS WISE, LIKE A PERSON WHO BUILDS A HOUSE ON SOLID ROCK.”

Life will bring you through different seasons. Some seasons will be still and filled with peace, while others will feel turbulent and dark. It’s in the stormy seasons we realise whether we built our house on the rock or the sand. This season, for me, has been a test. If I had built my foundation on sand, I know for a fact that I would have probably not committed myself to church again. I know that I would have felt like I would have been better off without it. I would have created my own version of Jesus, who is so filled with love that I wouldn’t have to set myself apart, and live a holy and righteous life, because God is so forgiving and takes me as I am. I would have easily forgotten that God’s love language is obedience, and made my relationship about how God serves me, and how I don’t have to do anything but just believe in God and acknowledge Jesus. And because of this false Jesus I would have created in my head, I would have found myself back in the grave, enslaved once again by sin. This, my friends, is one of many schemes of the enemy, who has many professing Christians deceived. 1 CORINTHIANS 3:18 “STOP DECEIVING YOURSELVES. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE WISE BY THIS WORLD’S STANDARDS, YOU NEED TO BECOME A FOOL TO BE TRULY WISE.”

When you start to believe that you know best and trust in yourself, it brings disaster. That is what happens when you take Jesus off the throne of your life and put yourself up there instead. Submission is a dirty word in culture today, but submission is necessary in our walk with Christ. Being a part of a church does mean you are submitting to church authority. If you live life picking and choosing what you are obedient to when it comes to your walk with Christ, then being a part of a church will never seem appealing, and if you have church hurt it is worse! But even the early churchs of the New Testament had to submit to the authority of the apostles. God placed them in their positons just as He has placed the leaders of today. Today, he tells us to test the spirits and warns us of the many false prophets and teachers that have been sent out to deceive us. Today is when we need our descernment more than ever before!

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Going back to my original thoughts that brought about this post, I was reminded of the story of Lazarus. Jesus loved Lazarus, but when news reached Him that His friend was sick, Jesus decided not to go and see him immediately, resulting in the death of Lazarus. When Jesus arrived at the town to see Lazarus, Lazarus had been dead in the tomb for four days. There was no denying at that point that Lazarus was dead, for his body had started to decompose. It would only take a miracle from God to change his circumstance. So when Jesus visited the tomb of Lazarus and called him out, He did what only God could have made possible. And when Lazarus walked out of his tomb, once a decomposing body, now living and breathing, there was no denying the power and glory of God and the authority of Jesus! Lazarus couldn’t ressurect himself. It was only the power of God who could take him out of the grave. I thought about how we can find ourselves like Lazarus. We can be dead in our transgressions, our sin the stench of rotting flesh to God. We can be dead for so long that it would seem impossible that our circumstances could change. People around us may give up hope and think it is impossible for us to change. God reminded me that nothing is impossible for Him! If we find ourselves back in the grave, although it may be hard, nothing is too hard for God, and He already paid the price for us with His blood.

I thought about how easy it could be to fall back into old habits, I thought about how weak I am without God. How I have no power without His power. It’s not by my own strength that I walk this path, but by His strength! Not me, but God! It’s easy to become puffed up and put yourself at the centre. So many have fallen because of pride. I was reminded that humility was the key to keeping Jesus at the centre of your heart. Because when you realise that everything else is sinking sand without Him, that’s when He sits on the throne of your life, and nothing, I mean nothing, can separate you from His love!

WHEN GOD CHANGES YOUR DIRECTION.

I struggled with writing this blog because so much has happened since my last post, and I have debated whether I should discuss it here, but I would not be true to myself or my blog (which can sometimes feel like therapy) if I didn’t talk about it, and it might help somebody else, which has always been the point of sharing so openly. So, there is no easy way to say it, but I decided to leave my church. This was not an easy decision, and it was one that I prayed about, wanting to make sure it was the Lord moving me on instead of my flesh. There is so much I want to say about it, but I know it would not be right to disclose everything here. So I will share what I can and be mindful that I honour God with my words. Honestly, this has felt like a breakup. I have gone through all the emotions possible. This was my first church home where God placed me when he convicted me in my room that I needed to be a part of the body, which meant being a part of a community. The place where I got baptised. The place where I experienced my first’s with God. The place where He revealed my gift of worshipping and leading others in worship. It was home. But sometimes you come to a point when you just don’t share the same vision. I am aware of how crazy that sounds being that the body of Christ should all share the same vision, but sometimes it’s about how we achieve that vision and what we feel convicted about.

I am so glad that I came to Christ in my unique way. I was never indoctrinated by religion or followed man like he was God. I came to the Lord through His word and nothing more. I had no experience of church, I just read what it was meant to look like when reading the book of Acts, and that was what I wanted to be a part of. But God always warned me about man and how our hearts can not be trusted, so I pledged never to place my faith in man, but only the man that is Jesus. Because of man, church can be messy! If I was spiritually immature, I think I would have left church a lot sooner because people can be the most disappointing. I have had my share of ups and downs with the body of Christ, and believe me, I know that church hurt is a real thing. But the Word says that offence hardens the heart, and I always wanted to have a heart of flesh where God could mould it as he saw fit. When your heart is hard, you make it unmouldable. So, I kept my eyes focused on Jesus through the mess and constantly reminded myself that people who attend church are here because they know they need fixing (well, most do).

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As you may be able to tell from my posts and the things I talk about here, I am no wall flower, and if something doesn’t feel right, I will not hesitate to voice my concerns. I have always done that at church, so believe me when I say this time was no different. I believe that one of my gifts has been the spirit of discernment, and what I was descerning was grieving me in spirit. I am a creature of habit, and when I am comfortable, I will not leave! I had built up a reputation at my church as someone wise who others looked up to. I led worship every Sunday, which was an honour. I was comfortable in the position I held, but when God says it’s time to move, you move! When God is leading you, trust and believe He will give you that peace that surpasses all understanding. I remember going to bed in waves of grief, crying out to God to give me peace if it was His will. That next morning, I was so serene and at peace, I had the best restful sleep one can have with 5 hours, and I remember feeling so grateful that God had been so clear. From that day forth, I never shed another tear or even felt sad about my decision. In fact I felt the joy of the Lord wash over me and the day I met with my leaders to tell them of my decision and reason, I felt like God say, go in peace and honour them! It reminded me of the graciousness of David, the man after God’s own heart. He spoke truth in love when it came to Saul. He had opportunities where he could have cut Saul down, but he always chose to show him mercy and honour him. He left it to God to deal with, and that’s exactly what God did. Although I am no David and my church has nothing to do with Saul, I felt God reminding me how to carry myself as a child of God.

Do you ever look at significant moments in your life where you are reminded of how far God has brought you? Because the old me would not have been so merciful, and my words would have spoken death instead of life. All glory to God! PROVERBS 18:21 “DEATH AND LIFE ARE IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE, AND THOSE WHO LOVE IT WILL EAT ITS FRUITS.” Over the last month, God has spoken this proverb to me in many different ways. He knows me so well it makes me chuckle. I fear God, and because I fear Him, I can go in peace. God is sovereign and knows more than I could ever know or understand. All I need to be concerned about is being obedient and keeping a check of my heart posture. When people leave, it can cause more questions and confusion, and when you hold a respected position at your church, what you say to others can be like a death sentence. So God has been teaching me how to speak life instead. It’s so easy to get up on our self righteous box and point fingers and tell everyone that they have a plank in their eye, but what has that ever done that has been helpful to the body of Christ? Don’t get me confused, I believe that when things are wrong and hurt the body, we have a responsibility to call it out, but remember wisdom will be proven right by her deeds. Sometimes, we have to be careful we don’t cause the little ones to stumble on account of us being hurt or disappointed. MATTHEW 12:36 “AND I TELL YOU THIS, YOU MUST GIVE AN ACCOUNT ON JUDGMENT DAY FOR EVERY IDLE WORD YOU SPEAK. THE WORDS YOU SAY WILL EITHER ACQUIT YOU OR CONDEMN YOU.”

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As you know, I have and will continue to be an advocator when it comes to being a part of a local church. This experience has not changed that. For almost six years, I served God diligently with joy. Being connected in my church community was a big part of my life. I have been like Martha, running backwards and forwards, making sure I was serving to the best of my ability. Now it’s time to be Mary and sit down at the feet of Jesus. God says that it’s time to choose the better thing. I am excited to have a season of just receiving it. I needed it! I know that I won’t be Mary for as long as I have been Martha because God has things for me to do for His kingdom. But I am going to enjoy this time of rest that He has been gracious enough to give me. Rest doesn’t mean not going to church. If anything, this has shown me how important it is for me to be a part of the body and be in a church community. I have found a church where I am hearing God clearly, and it’s nice to not be involved in the politics of it all, but I think it’s not good to rush back into a new relationship. Yes, I am looking at it like a relationship. When you leave a long-term relationship, it’s not wise to jump straight into a new one. I’ve only ever known one church, one way of doing church. It’s been refreshing to see what else is out there, and it’s helped me to understand what kind of church goer I am. It’s crazy to feel like the world has opened up to me, and I am now free. But that’s the best way I can describe it.

I have met so many great brothers and sisters in Christ who will continue to be just that. Sometimes, when people leave churches, that means they leave the relationships they created during their time there. I never understood why people did that. After all, the church is not a building! I might not be doing church in the traditional way with them, but we are still doing church together. HEBREWS 10:24-25 “LET US THINK OF WAYS TO MOTIVATE ONE ANOTHER TO ACTS OF LOVE AND GOOD WORKS. AND LET US NOT NEGLECT OUR MEETING TOGETHER, AS SOME PEOPLE DO, BUT ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE DAY OF HIS RETURN IS DRAWING NEAR.” Look at the apostle Paul, who wrote so many letters to the different churches. He recognised them as one body, just in different areas, and he loved them all the same. When Jesus returns, He is coming for ALL the body, the ones that have placed their faith in Him. Now, I get to meet more people and expand my family, which I find exciting. I also have to do life with people and be intentional instead of relying on seeing people one day a week. These are all positives.

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I want to end this post by saying church is important, even if it can be messy at times. Church is not a reflection of God but a reflection of our NEED for God! Yes, life would be much simpler if we could just do Christianity without people, but we need people to see the full glory of God manifest in His gifts. We can not be lone ranger Christians. We are called to serve just as Jesus served. Don’t let the mess get in the way of what and who God has called you to be, because in the end it’s not even about you, you are not the main character of this story, it is Jesus!

THE SYMBOLIC CHURCH.

Believe it or not, but this post was sparked by a conversation with an AI chat bot about whether the UK was still considered a Christian country. I was born in London and I have only ever resided here. My grandmother was an immigrant and she had my mum in London so it’s all she’s ever known too. Although I am british, I have always felt like an outsider due to the racial tentions I experienced growing up. When I would see white men waving their british flags with pride, it would subconsciously instil fear because through the years, that flag had been weaponised against people that look like me. Now, through a different lense I am starting to understand what is going on. British people are fighting for their culture and heritage to remain. I am seeing ethnic people like myself who have been born and bred in the UK protesting and waving their british flags with pride. And for the first time, I understand what it’s all about.

The UK was built on Christian values, which has shaped its culture and institutions. The British monarch’s role historically as “Defender of the Faith”, the supreme governer of The Church of England, which dates all the way back to the 16th century has now become largely symbolic and has evolved over time. According to the 2019 British Social Attitudes survey, 52% of people in England and Wales identify as Christians, while 48% do not identify with any religion. When you see stats like that, it’s no wonder there has been such a shift in the UK. The UK is now considered a secular country with a Christian heritage. The laws and institutions, and social norms are largely secular and pluralistic. There have even been debates for the monarch’s title to be changed to “Defender of Faiths” to reflect the countries’ growing religious diversity. When you look behind the veil, you see something more sinister happening in the UK.

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Christian traditions are being erased before our very eyes, all under the guise of diversity and inclusion. If your spiritual eyes are truly open, it’s clear to see the UK is under spiritual attack! Just the other day, there was a report of a school in the UK that had decided to cancel it’s annual Easter parade so they could be more sensitive to other faiths. I do believe the other faith is Islam, as this ideology seems to be growing rapidly in the UK. Now, let me be very careful and clear about what I say because free speech no longer exists HERE. As a Christian, the goal is never to force people to believe in what you believe. Our God, Yahweh, is not a dictator. He gives us free will to choose him. So people are free to follow the God of their choosing. But Christian traditions shouldn’t be erased in a country built on the decrees of God! This reminds me of the Old Testament when Israel, after being rescued out of Egypt by God, then forgot about God. JUDGES 2:10 “AFTER THAT GENERATION DIED, ANOTHER GENERATION GREW UP WHO DID NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THE LORD OR REMEMBER THE MIGHTY THINGS HE HAD DONE FOR ISRAEL.” There was a reason why the Israelites were told to study the Book of Instruction continually and to share what the Lord had done for them from generation to generation. Because when we don’t, we forget. Then we end up living in a time where research has shown that Christianity is the most mocked religion in the UK!

This brings me to the church. Sound doctrine is harder and harder to come by in churches today. The Church of England now reflects the pluralistic views of the culture and has made significant changes all in the guise of diversity and inclusion. It looks like the church from the outside, but inside, it is something else. I watched a video of an ordained UK minister talking about the lies found in Christianity. There was so much heresy in his list, but the one that was the most diabolical was that Jesus isn’t the only way, Love is, because God is love! I felt sick to the stomach. The church in the Uk has become infected, and it is spreading. I know not all churches have succomb to this infection, but it’s very hard to find a church that stands on the word of God. It feels like we have become luke warm, and we already know that Jesus warned in Revelation that He would rather us be hot or cold, He will spit us out if we are luke warm!

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The message of the Gospel has now been watered down so as not to offend. People rarely talk about the truths that will set you free from bondage, the actual things that save your soul. Going to church on Sundays or every religious holiday will not secure your place in heaven! Hearing motivational speeches on a Sunday will only make you feel good on a Sunday, but the rest of the week, your life is a shambles! 48% of people do not identify with any religion. That is a lot! There is definitely something not right here! If Jesus and the message of the Gospel aren’t being shared, then that number will get higher, and if we think it’s bad now, we haven’t seen anything yet! I know that churches are not perfect places because they are full of broken people. I know for myself it takes a certain level of maturity to endure. That might sound harsh, but I am being real! I do believe being a part of a church is part of the life of a believer, and I will always advocate for it. But when I see the people that God has placed as his shepheards leading people astray, I want to flip tables like Jesus did! But then I am reminded that God already warned us. 2 PETER 2:1-2 “BUT THERE WERE ALSO FALSE PROPHETS IN ISRAEL, JUST AS THERE WILL BE FALSE TEACHERS AMONG YOU. THEY WILL CLEVERLY TEACH DESTRUCTIVE HERESIES AND EVEN DENY THE MASTER WHO BOUGHT THEM. IN THIS WAY, THEY WILL BRING SUDDEN DESTRUCTION ON THEMSELVES. MANY WILL FOLLOW THEIR EVIL TEACHING AND SHAMEFUL IMMORALITY. AND BECAUSE OF THESE TEACHERS, THE WAY OF TRUTH WILL BE SLANDERED.” There are so many other verses about false teachers. It’s clear that God wanted us to know what a problem it would be to the church.

If we let the cultural norm infect the church, the church will lose its power. Jesus has to be the centre of EVERYTHNG! If we pick and choose the truths that seem more harmonious for all, then we are not giving the people the real Jesus! To just lead with God is love to make everyone happy feels deceitful. Yes God is love, and it’s because of His love that He gives us commands to follow, because love is not just telling people what they want to hear to make them happy, love is telling people the truth because you want them to be better! Jesus came to give us life more abundantly. That doesn’t just mean that you get all your hearts desires, because sometimes you don’t. But this “life” means a vigourous life devoted to God! You can keep it light at church if your sole purpose is to make sure all the seats are filled and those tithes flow, then you will receive your reward right now. But isn’t it more than that?

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Church feels more symbolic of what it once stood for. All these new initiatives to create more butts in the seats feel empty and disingenuous. They feel like a business model with no heart or soul. Jesus no longer seems to be the driving force, and this grieves my heart. It feels like the church has fooled itself into believing that It’s all about Jesus when it isn’t. Again, I stress to you that as a believer, it is important to be a part of a community. We are called to serve others, not just ourselves. At the end of the day, it’s not even about us! We are living in some trying times, and it’s only gonna get worse. If you can not stand for the truth of the Gospel now, then woe unto you when you face true persecution for your beliefs. We must endure to the end, which tells us that it won’t be a walk in the park by the time Jesus returns. Please read your word contiunally. Know what the word of God says for yourself, so you can protect yourselves from having itching ears. Don’t get led onto the wide road that leads to destruction! Cling to God in these days, we can not endure if we are far from Him. Please pray for the UK. We need your prayers! Please pray for the 48% that they will come to the truth and knowledge of Jesus Christ!

JOSHUA 1:8-9 “STUDY THIS BOOK OF INSTRUCTION CONTINUALLY. MEDITATE ON IT DAY AND NIGHT SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO OBEY EVERYTHING WRITTEN IN IT. ONLY THEN WILL YOU PROSPER AND SUCCEED IN ALL YOU DO. THIS IS MY COMMAND-BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS! DO NOT BE AFRAID OR DISCOURAGED. FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.”

GROWING IN FAITH PT2.

Last year, when I wrote part 1, I was in New Jersey spending time with my family for Thanksgiving. It was a very eye-opening visit. It prompted me to write about the importance of growing in faith. You could be a professing believer in Christ for 20 years, but after your first year of being on fire for Jesus, your fire began to die out, and you never grew beyond that first year. So, you spent 19 years in a loop, never really growing more than what you did when you first believed. You attend church every Sunday, and you even say your prayers before bed and before every meal. You feel like an accomplished Christian because you do these things. But you don’t grow in your faith. You don’t even pick up your bible outside of Sunday anymore because your week is busy. You spend every year just repeating that first year when you were chasing God. So your 20 years is really 1 year on repeat.

Growing in faith is evidence of our relationship with God. The more we grow, the closer we get to God. If we are not growing as we should, it becomes evident in our lives. We start to look like the rest of the world. This is what I witnessed when I visited my family. My aunt, who I love dearly, believes in Jesus, but the things I witnessed from her really disturbed my spirit. It had me wondering if she was truly saved!? It pains me to even think that, but Jesus said we would know His people from their fruit, and her fruit was rotten! As time went on, I realised that the problem was she had stopped persuing God. She wasn’t a part of any church. She even confessed to not picking up her bible anymore. She was responding to everything out of her flesh instead of the Spirit. When I would try to point out these things and guide her back to the word of God, I was met with such resistance and anger. My time spent with her felt like I was in a spiritual battle that I wasn’t prepared for! Unfortunately, as I write this blog, my aunt refuses to communicate with me. I’m ok with that because, like I told her, I will always stand on the word of God because I fear the LORD! The one thing I remember her saying when I told her that being a Christian meant we had to deny ourselves was this, “but it’s hard!.”

MATTHEW 7:13-14 “ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE. FOR THE GATE IS WIDE AND THE WAY EASY THAT LEADS TO DISTRUCTION, AND THOSE WHO ENTER BY IT ARE MANY. FOR THE GATE IS NARROW AND THE WAY IS HARD THAT LEADS TO LIFE, AND THOSE WHO FIND IT ARE FEW.” Jesus warned us that following Him would be hard. That is the life of a believer! But he also promised us a helper when we placed our faith in Him and decided to choose the narrow path. The Holy Spirit is with us as we journey! God in spirit lives within us, leading us on this difficult path. We don’t do anything in our own strength. But if we stop seeking the Spirit while we journey like nomads, we will find ourselves stumbling on to the wider path and fooling ourselves to believe it is the right path because it’s easy. There is a great proverb that says that there is a path before each person that seems right but ends in death. If we stop seeking the Spirit for wisdom, we then start to do whatever feels right in our own eyes.

We live in a world, so opposed to God, it feels like we are in an episode of the twilight zone. If we are not careful, the culture will infect us, and we will start to look like friends of the world. The things that once grieved us when we first believed will no longer affect us in the same way. We will become desensitized to sin and start to make excuses for the things we know offend God. Then we will start to tell ourselves that we don’t need to go to church and be a part of the body, because we don’t need the body, why, when we can readily tune into one of our many social media pastors from the comfort of our beds. We will tell ourselves that we don’t need to read the bible because we’ve read it before . Like  it’s just some regular book that holds no power. Then, before we know it, we will start to fall back into our old bondages that Jesus set us free from. Satan will sit back and laugh at us as we exchange our freedom and return back to being a slave to sin, chained up with the other unbelievers walking that wide road away from God.

I don’t know about you, but I have been feeling this shift happening throughout the church. I feel like we are in a season where it is imperative that we seek to draw closer to God and grow in our faith! My fear is that if we remain stagnant, we will not be able to endure to the end and receive our crown of life. We run the risk of becoming like the five virgins who didn’t have enough oil in their lamp and missed the wedding! We are seeing a rise in so many false teachers as well as false doctrines, and people are being led astray. God is exposing those who have built their foundations on sand instead of the rock. People are deconstructing because they can’t handle the narrow road. It’s clear that many people are doing religion with God instead of a relationship, and faith is wavering as a result. JAMES 1:2-4 “DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHEN TROUBLES OF ANY KIND COME YOUR WAY, CONSIDER IT AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GREAT JOY. FOR YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR FAITH IS TESTED, YOUR ENDURANCE HAS A CHANCE TO GROW. SO LET IT GROW, FOR WHEN YOUR ENDURANCE IS FULLY DEVELOPED, YOU WILL BE PERFECT AND COMPLETE, NEEDING NOTHING.” The hard narrow path is meant to breed endurance through the testing of our faith, and if our foundation is firm, our faith strengthens, and we become more mature. The hard road is not meant to destroy us. This is why faith is so important. A strong faith keeps us obedient. You can’t say you have faith when your life does not reflect what you believe. As the word says, faith without action is dead!

God promised that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. I emplore you to take your relationship seriously with Him, for your life depends on it. If your faith isn’t where it needs to be, it’s time to start working out your salvation with fear and trembling! I look at what’s going on in the world and it excites me, because we are on this timeline of end time events, which is moving with such speed that I sometimes wonder if Jesus will return for His chuch in my lifetime. The bible is not only a book full of wisdom and teachings, but it is a historical and prophetic book. A big part of our growing in faith is due to the bible. If we are not reading it and seeking to understand it, how can we expect to have an unshakeable faith needed in the times we live? We are setting ourselves up for failure! PSALM 119:30 “I HAVE CHOSEN THE WAY OF FAITHFULNESS; I HAVE SET MY HEART ON YOUR LAWS.”

We are meant to seek to become mature Christians. Some of us have become unteachable, which is not a good place to be in. It’s time to become like children again, hungry to learn and grow. We are in a spiritual war, and too many of us are not wearing all our pieces of armour. We are running out into battle without our shield of faith, which is meant to protect us from the fiery arrows of the enemy. God has provided everything we need to finish our race, to be victorious in this battle. But if we are not wise and prepared, we will be destroyed. It’s time to sharpen up our swords, which is the word of God. It’s time for the body of Christ to unite, for iron sharpens iron. If you are looking to truly grow in your faith, here are some suggestions. Join a church. It’s time to have a spiritual covering. You were not created to be a lone ranger Christian. You are a functioning part of the body of Jesus Christ. Ok, I hear you when you say you tried it and it didn’t work out for you. Well, I say try again. Find a different church that is solid in theology and ask God to heal your heart of church hurt. That is what it looks like to be a mature Christian. Create a habit of reading your bible daily. Buy a study bible to help you in your personal reading so you truly understand the word of God. Find a believer who is wise and allow them to speak into your life. Go to them for godly counsel instead of looking at what the culture says about a thing. These are just a few suggestions, but they are so impactful to your walk, and I speak from experience. I have been a believer for 6 years. I am young in the faith, but I am mature because of the word of God. I am young in the faith, but I am mature because of church. I am young in the faith, but I am mature because of fellowship with my sisters and brothers who hold me accountable and who hold my hand on this narrow hard road. I thank God for placing them in my life. My prayer is that 2025 will be a year of growth in our walks with God. May our faith endure until we are reunited with our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ!

WORKER OF INIQUITY.

Happy New Year!! 2025 already! December was a busy month for me, so please accept my apologies for my inconsistency. I spent three weeks in America with my family for Thanksgiving, which is a whole story in itself. Then I returned home and went straight back to work. December was a blur. But I did receive sad news during December, which inspired this post. I have deliberated about sharing my thoughts, not wanting to come across as incensitive, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I had to talk about it. So I apologise in advance if you take offence at the subject matter, but it is important, and something we all should think about because it’s a matter of life and death!

A few weeks back, I received news that somebody I knew had passed away due to complications of an illness. I’ll call her “Susan”. I hadn’t seen Susan for a long time, I had never kept in contact with her over the years, so she had become somebody distant, an aquaintance. I used to work with Susan 10 years ago, and during that time, I had been brought into her circle of friends due to a mutual friend. I had even attended her wedding (to another woman),  I was not a Christian in those days. So, when I was asked to pray for her when I first heard she was sick, I was very torn. I did pray for her, but for some reason, I felt bothered about it. I felt guilty for feeling the way I did, as I knew that it was good to pray for others, especially in their time of need. A week later, when I was told of her passing, I felt sad, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t because I was mourning a friend, but because I didn’t know where she was going. I consoled myself with the thought that perhaps she had a life change. I hadn’t spoken to her in years, I didn’t know her anymore. Then I was added to a group chat where everybody shared their surprise of her passing, pictures, and memories of their last time with Susan. It was then that I knew for sure that she hadn’t changed. There were some people in the group who would call themselves believers. These were the people who wrote messages that Susan was with the Lord, Susan was enjoying herself in heaven. Messages that inspired a sense of hope and comfort. People said how Susan was kind, always giving to others, full of love, all the good things you want to hear. Because of her goodness, there was no doubt in the group chat that she wouldn’t be chilling in heaven. This troubled me further because I knew it wasn’t true.

I started to think about people, including “Christians,” who are under the impression that “their” gooodness will be what gets them into heaven. This false sense of security, which, in my opinion, is straight from the enemy himself! The idea that we can live opposed to God and still see heaven is baffling to me, it’s definitely not what I read in the bible, and if you call yourself a believer but don’t understand that, then I would have to ask you, do you really know God? Do you really know Jesus? So the question to you is this: If you were to die tomorrow, do you know where you are going?

MATTHEW 7:21 “NOT EVERYONE WHO SAYS TO ME, ‘LORD, LORD,’ WILL ENTER THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, BUT THE ONE WHO DOES THE WILL OF MY FATHER WHO IS IN HEAVEN.” One of the most scariest verses, in my opinion. The fact that we can call on the Lord boldly but fail to see heaven should have us always working out our salvation in fear and trembling. Just because you call out to the Lord in prayer or send the amens in the group chat does not mean you are saved and secure. The question you have to ask yourself is, are you doing God’s will? Are you living in obedience to God? Are you living to the standards that your sinful flesh has created or the standards that God has created? Is it YOUR good, or is it God’s good? Just because people thought Susan was a good person doesn’t mean God agrees. Susan was not obedient to God. She did not do the will of God, and if God’s love language is obedience, then I think it’s fair to say Susan lived like she hated God. Because of that, it grieved my spirit to say that I didn’t agree with the group chat.

MATTHEW 7:22-23 “ON THAT DAY MANY WILL SAY TO ME, ‘LORD, LORD, DID WE NOT  PROPHESY IN YOUR NAME, AND CAST OUT DEMONS IN YOUR NAME, AND DO MANY MIGHTY WORKS IN YOUR NAME?’ AND THEN WILL I DECLARE TO THEM, ‘I NEVER KNEW YOU; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WORKERS OF LAWLESSNESS.” I could not imagine God turning me away and telling me He never knew me. Imagine thinking you know someone so well, but them, turning you away because they don’t know you. The plot twist being, that you actually didn’t know them like you kept proclaiming to. It hit home that many of us who call ourselves Christians don’t know God at all. TITUS 1:16 “THEY PROFESS TO KNOW GOD, BUT THEY DENY HIM BY THEIR WORKS. THEY ARE DETESTABLE, DISOBEDIENT, UNFIT FOR ANY GOOD WORK.”

I thank God that He sent His son to pay the debt I could never pay. I thank God for the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. I know I could never work my way into heaven on my own merit. I am a sinner, and because of that, I know I will always fall short of God’s glory. So I thank God for His grace and mercy! As my friend always says, you can’t pray right and live wrong! If we keep His commandments, we can truly say we know God. Yes, we may not get it right all the time, but we don’t make a practice of sinning. But if we don’t keep His commandments but claim to know God, the bible says that we are liars, not having the truth in us. Our faith should equate to action. If the things that grieve God do not grieve us, do we even have the Holy Spirit in us? When we live by the Spirit, He causes us to turn away from sin. We do the things that please God, we become righteous, the Spirit helps us to be holy. But if we live by our flesh, we turn to sin, we do the things that grieve the Spirit, we even start to make allowances for things that God sees as evil, we start to say it’s not that bad, that God doesn’t see it as sin. We start saying things like love is love, and God is love, so it’s all good. We deminish who God is and create our own version of god in our lives. 1 JOHN 3:9 “NO ONE BORN OF GOD MAKES A PRACTICE OF SINNING, FOR GOD’S SEED ABIDES IN HIM; AND HE CANNOT KEEP ON SINNING, BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN BORN OF GOD.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this or needs this reminder, but you can’t have the Father without the Son! Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life! Don’t let the enemy steal your free gift! The day of judgement is fast upon us, and not because I believe Jesus is coming back in glory next week. It could be another 50 years before that day comes for all we know. But because we don’t know when we will take our last breath! When we die, we won’t get another try to get it right. We can’t plead our case and say, “Forgive me, I won’t do it again, I’ll be better, I promise!” It doesn’t work like that. Live your life like Jesus is coming back tomorrow! All is not lost. The fact that God grants you life each day is a new mercy, a chance to pick up your cross and deny yourself!

HEBREWS 10:26 “FOR IF WE GO ON SINNING DELIBERATELY AFTER RECEIVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH, THERE NO LONGER REMAINS A SACRIFICE FOR SINS,”

I’m sorry that Susan didn’t get a chance to do things differently, but if you are reading this, that means you do! Don’t be a worker of iniquity! Please don’t read this as me pointing a finger at you in judgement. Just know that I had to sit and think about my own walk with God. Maybe I have become complacent and comfortable, and that’s a dangerous place to be in. Losing someone really put things into perspective for me. As we enter into 2025, a time when we seek to better ourselves, let’s seek to better ourselves for God.

2 CORINTHIANS 13:5 “EXAMINE YOURSELVES, TO SEE WHETHER YOU ARE IN THE FAITH. TEST YOURSELVES. OR DO YOU NOT REALIZE THIS ABOUT YOURSELVES, THAT JESUS CHRIST IS IN YOU?- UNLESS INDEED YOU FAIL TO MEET THE TEST!”