CHRISTIANS AND THE OCCULT

First let me start of by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! We made it, we survived 2021! Its been a trying couple of years, so please be kind to yourselves if you feel like life is not what you planned it to be right now, you are surviving through a pandemic, it’s OK! This Christmas was beautiful, lets always keep in mind the reason for the season, but being with family when the previous year we were all kept apart gave me a new appreciation for my loved ones. I am normally the girl who enjoys spending Christmas alone, so being able to spend it this year with my family was such a blessing! Now that all the festivities are over, it’s time to concentrate on what 2022 has in store!

This first post of the year is a little different, a topic I didn’t think would come up on this blog, at least not so soon, but God always has other plans and His plans are always best! I spent a little time on my karaoke app “smule”(I spoke of this in my first post) before 2021 ended, singing and catching up with my friends all over the globe, this happens in a “live” setting so it’s very interactive, and you never know who will wonder into your live! A lady I had never met came in to my live, we will call her “Amy”. So Amy joined me on the mic and we sang a couple of songs in between a lot of chatting. The thing about me is that I will sing and get along with any and everybody, I am very easy going and that usually promotes an environment where people tend to overshare or just be really honest without fear of judgement. One thing that I first noticed about Amy was that she cussed a lot, that is not particularly abnormal, as most I find do, I mean I used to a lot! So being that not everyone shares the same values as myself, I come to expect it when I go on these kind of apps. Amy however was cussing out her 4 year old using explicit language while live, that was one thing I noted. Let me just clarify, I noted not to be judgmental, but it told me that we might not share the same beliefs and values so that would help me navigate my interaction. The thing about being a Christian is that God expects us to navigate ourselves in this fallen world in a way that we stay true to Him at all times! We are not meant to hide ourselves like a light hidden under a basket, we are called to be a light in a sea of darkness! We can’t be people pleasers, but pleasers of God! So that usually means going against the majority, and maybe not being so popular, because we might be seen as boring, but if boring means you don’t conform and compromise yourself then be the best boring you can be!

Back to Amy. During our conversations she kept mentioning that she was spiritual, and that she had ascended to a higher level of spiritual awareness. I am listening to her intently at this point, trying to work out what it all meant to her to be spiritual. I notice when people use the wording “spiritual” it sometimes means that they don’t normally subscribe to any religion, but they acknowledge a higher power of some sorts, whether its the universe or mother nature. As she was talking she started to talk about cards, at this point I stopped to ask if she was referring to tarot cards, which she confirmed to be the case. She then continued, talking about how the cards were very helpful and that people misunderstood them. She said that the cards were “calling” to her to do a reading for me! Now I am no stranger to tarot cards, before I found Christ, I had visited tarot card readers in my time, we all have a curiosity to take a glimpse into our futures, or gain some deeper revelation on a situation or a person, I understand the appeal. But when you become enlightened by truth revealed in God’s word by our helper the Holy Spirit, you learn about these things that we are prohibited as Christians not to entertain! Now the Bible doesn’t mention “tarot cards” by name, but talks about divination, which is part of the occult, and tarot cards fall under that heading! It was at this point that I politely declined, and told her that I was a devout Christian, Jesus was my Lord and Saviour and that tarot cards were demonic!

The conversation got real interesting at this point as this was when she revealed herself to be a Christian! Now you can imagine my surprise to hear this, looking back at our conversation up until this point nothing she said or did told me she was a follower of Christ! She believed that as a Christian, you can use different means to reach a level of spiritual awareness, she saw these things as tools which she truly believed that God used to give revelation! She then told me how her year had been very hard for her, full of tests, God had been testing her all year and she had finally passed and come out the other side with extra abilities (now I never even asked about these abilities) she then said her biggest test had been her being told to sacrifice her 4 year old!!! If you are a Christian reading this, if you are anyone reading this, alarm bells should be going off in your head right now! Of course I was like “excuse me, what!?!” I asked her who had told her to sacrifice her child, and she told me she had been told in a dream at first and then told through a particular deck of tarot cards! She believed that God had told her to sacrifice her child as a test, and because she didn’t, she passed God’s test, and as a reward she received a random free month of rent! I told her that God was not the power behind that test, and God wouldn’t ask you to sacrifice your child! She then told me I was wrong and used a well known story in the Old Testament of when God tested Abraham to see if he would sacrifice his only son Isaac! (GENESIS 22:1-9) This is a classic case of someone misinterpreting and not understanding scripture, it’s easy to read scripture, but to read scripture without true understanding is damaging! Amy was very adamant in telling me that she knew all there was to know in regards to the Bible, she was well versed and almost couldn’t be told anything new! A red flag is a Christian that feels unteachable when it comes to the word! As Christians we are to remain humble like children, always ready to learn! Amy might have read through the bible, she may have remembered all the stories of the Bible, but it was clear to me that she hadn’t studied the bible to truly understand and gain wisdom.

Now I don’t pretend to know everything in relation to God’s word as I am still learning myself! But I knew enough, I understood enough to tell her that the story of Abraham and Isaac wasn’t applicable to her situation because we have JESUS! Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, the lamb slain for our sins! The death and rise of Jesus Christ meant that we didn’t have to give offerings, like the Israelites of the Old testament anymore because we were given the gift of Grace from God when we believed in our Lord and Saviour! There was a pause from Amy at this point, I could feel her mulling that over in her head. Something made sense to her, because her story then changed from God testing her to Satan being the one testing her, she became a little defensive, so in order not to lose her, I took a step back and tried to change the intensity of the conversation by stating that everybody had their own journey’s to make when it came to the Holy Spirit revealing truth and bringing conviction to a persons soul. My conviction was that the occult was not for me! Shortly after that we got disconnected and I never saw Amy again that night! DEUTERONOMY 18:9-12 “WHEN YOU ENTER THE LAND THE LORD YOUR GOD IS GIVING YOU, DO NOT LEARN TO IMITATE THE DETESTABLE WAYS OF THE NATIONS THERE. LET NO ONE BE FOUND AMONG YOU WHO SACRIFICES THEIR SON OR DAUGHTER IN THE FIRE, WHO PRACTICES DIVINATION OR SORCERY, INTERPRETS OMENS, ENGAGES IN WITCHCRAFT, OR CASTS SPELLS, OR WHO IS A MEDIUM OR SPIRITIST OR WHO CONSULTS THE DEAD. ANYONE WHO DOES THESE THINGS IS DETESTABLE TO THE LORD; BECAUSE OF THESE SAME DETESTABLE PRACTICES THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL DRIVE OUT THOSE NATIONS BEFORE YOU.”

In the days of Moses, the Israelites were fascinated with things of the occult, they often looked for other sources outside of God’s provision, kind of what people still do to this day! God was very clear to them about doing such things, to God these things were detestable! They are still detestable to God to this day! Why? Because when we seek these other avenues to find some kind of enlightenment, we are no longer going to God, we are no longer trusting God with our futures. When we are not seeking God’s provision then we are seeking satan, it’s as simple as that, because what is not of God is of satan! Remember we are in a spiritual war, these things are not to be taken lightly and played with! If you keep seeking and knocking on these doors, you best be ready to receive whatever is behind them! You play with fire you will get burned! What starts of as innocent curiosity, can turn very dark and sinister very quickly, before you know it, you are dealing with demonic spirits posing as familiar spirits, whether its a deceased love one, or casper the friendly ghost, they are not of God! The devil is a liar, Amy is proof of that, the devil has tricked her into thinking that this “spiritual awakening” she is experiencing is from God! That’s the thing about our adversary, since the beginning of man he has always tried to make us question God’s provision, always tried to convince us to live independent of God! Using tarot cards is just another way he does that!

We should always seek revelation from God in prayer or in His word, even God uses other people to convey his messages, not to mention prophetic dreams! We shouldn’t be using trinkets and tools that are commonly used by people of the occult and fool ourselves into thinking that its ok to use these things to gain spiritual enlightenment from God. I notice that when life gets tough and we don’t feel God’s presence for whatever reason, our lack of faith in that moment can cause us to want to find answers elsewhere. I kind of believe that’s what led Amy, who is a Christian down the path that she is on! ISAIAH 8:19 “WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO CONSULT MEDIUMS AND SPIRITISTS, WHO WHISPER AND MUTTER, SHOULD NOT A PEOPLE INQUIRE OF THEIR GOD? WHY CONSULT THE DEAD ON BEHALF OF THE LIVING?” We should be consulting God for all things, not some pack of cards. We have to start trusting God in the quiet times, and understand that God is always working even when we can not see it straight away! Have patience and know that you will see the “light” on the other side, even if things seem bleak and unfixable. There is nothing our Lord can not change! He is a promise keeper, He is faithful, He is full of grace and mercy, and He loves you! One of my favourite Proverbs is this, “Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on you own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5) God knew in his infinite wisdom that we might experience some times when we might not understand Gods perfect way, we would doubt His perfect will, that is why He tells us to trust in Him, even when we want to make sense of things in our own way, He tells us not to lean into our own understanding!

Maybe one day Amy might come across this blog, maybe she won’t, maybe someone else like Amy will! I hope that this post makes them turn away from these things, or at least stirs something inside that convicts them that this is not the right way! Please use wisdom my brothers and sisters, it’s a slippery slope to opening doors to uninvited guests. Read your word, for everything! Trust in the Holy Spirit! There are many mysteries to our father, the Bible doesn’t reveal everything, but enough to know we can place our trust in Him! This is why he requires us to be in relationship with Him, true relationship promotes trust, if there is a lack of trust, draw closer to Him, spend more time getting to know Him! He will reveal so much to you. MATTHEW 7:7 “ASK AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU; SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND; KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED TO YOU.”

NAVIGATING OLD FRIENDSHIPS WHEN YOU ARE A NEW CREATION

This is a sensitive topic for me, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide my words on this. The dynamic of friendships differ for most people, maybe you are a person who is never lacking in that department, or maybe you’re a person that struggles in making long lasting connections. I remember my mum would always tell me how I was lucky when it came to my friendships, I always managed to find true connections, where her experience was much different to mine, even now in her late 50’s she still struggles! I have never taken my friendships for granted. I have kept a small tight circle of friends who have known me for over 10 plus years. That’s a lot of trust I have built up over time, and if you are like me, an introvert, I struggle with letting people “in” (because of the lack of trust on my part). I always went through life expecting disappointment so my expectations were always low, I know that’s not the best way to go into relationships but it was how I protected myself, the wall I built kept me safe! This system of mine had never let me down, and I had the friends to prove it!

So the moto for most of my 30’s had been “no new friends!” (thanks to Drake lol) If it ain’t broke don’t fix it! I’ve relied heavily on my friendships, they have meant everything to me. This group of special people has seen me transition from girl to woman, they have literally been in the trenches of life with me and have seen my worst and greatest moments. They have always been the ones I cry to or want to share with, the ones I had so much in common with, they knew me and I them! So what happens when you suddenly have this experience that has changed the fabric of your being, and the friends you want to share with, the friends that always GET you, suddenly feel so distant, for the first time in years you feel misunderstood! That was literally my experience when I first came to Christ! In ways if I am completely honest it still is at times, I just deal with it differently now.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:17 “THIS MEANS THAT ANYONE WHO BELONGS TO CHRIST HAS BECOME A NEW PERSON. THE OLD LIFE IS GONE; A NEW LIFE HAS BEGUN!” This was hard for me to accept at first “the old life is gone” I don’t think I really understood what that meant! Here I was clinging on to the old me, and what the old me meant to the dynamics of my friendships! I was having an identity crisis. I was still trying to be CERISE, but the old Cerise others had grown used to, not the new Cerise who’s identity is now in Christ and not her friendships! The funny thing was I hadn’t even realised I had assumed an identity in my friendship circles, it was coming to Christ that revealed how deep that rabbit hole went. Nothing is more unsettling than feeling displaced, not knowing were I fit in really messed with my mind. I can’t explain it, but I felt self conscious about how my friends were viewing me, whether they consciously were aware of anything, I FELT that they were treating me differently because of my faith. It sounds bizarre I am sure, and really I know that a lot of that was coming from me, but I couldn’t help but start to feel like an outsider!

I know when I first told my friends about my new found faith, it was met with mixed reactions. No one could understand the reason for this change, they assumed I was on this journey for the attention of a guy! I was deeply offended by that assumption, although looking back I could see why they might have come to that conclusion. I was offended because I thought they knew me better than that, and me changing in such an extreme way for the attention of a man had never been my style! The strange thing was that through all the years of our friendship we had never really discussed religion, to be honest I had no idea of what my friends believed! Religion is like talking about politics, you don’t know who supports what out here! Because we never had these conversations I guess its fair to say that they never knew the stirrings in my heart to know who God was. God wasn’t a priority to me back then, so it didn’t matter that we didn’t have those kind of conversations, I guess its evidence that me and my friends kind of saw ourselves as the masters of our own universe.

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I was the girl drinking the most at the party, handling my drink like the best of the men. I was the cocktail maker, or as I preferred to be called, the mixologist! I got the people pumped up, the vibologist (new word alert lol) I was the one that had to be funny, crude and rude! I was the one who had all the bad date stories that kept people entertained, the one who shared all the weird sexual encounters. I was THAT girl in my social circles! So going from that to THIS was a shock for all. I still wanted to be the “FUN” friend. I didn’t want to be so different that my friends stopped viewing me as THAT girl, I felt safe as THAT girl, I was familiar and comfortable in that identity. The pandemic couldn’t have happened at a better time for me, I really needed that break away from the norm, the distance from my social gatherings! This helped the Word take root in me, I had less things to distract me, I had nowhere to be but alone with God! JAMES 1:22 “BUT DON’T JUST LISTEN TO GOD’S WORD. YOU MUST DO WHAT IT SAYS. OTHERWISE, YOU ARE ONLY FOOLING YOURSELVES.” I can easily say that the pandemic allowed me to be a doer of God’s Word! I spent most of 2020 buried in my Bible, I was taking a lot in. So by the time the world started to open up a little, the social gatherings started again, and now I felt this pressure to revert back to the old me again. I was so worried about pleasing people and making everyone feel comfortable around me, I was really torn between even attending events at times! I hated having to explain my reasoning for not being the old Cerise, simple questioning felt like I was being attacked, I felt like I had to be on the defence all the time, so it almost felt easier to just assume my old position! I realise now that my friends just didn’t get it, they were not on the same path as me, they genuinely wanted to know! So for the first time in our years of friendship, we stopped finding common ground.

In the book of Acts it says all who believed had all things in common, and it’s more than just sharing the same love for food, or music, or style of dress! Our core moral beliefs make up a big part of us! We can usually all agree on murder being wrong, stealing, things of that nature, but when we dig deeper and go through our beliefs with a fine toothed comb this is where the major differences start to appear. This is when I realised I stopped having as much in common with my friends anymore. It’s a strange feeling, because once upon a time we pretty much agreed on every single issue! Having conversations was like a gauntlet, I could easily get swept up into it all, showing up as the old me! Even now, I have to be mindful of my words because its so easy to fall back in to old habits.

What changed things for me, and what helps me navigate these relationships to this day was realising that I was no longer living for the approval of this world, or my friends. I seek God’s approval first! He has to always be first! No compromise. I had to accept the new me! I had to look at the old me, and see the broken girl, bound by strongholds, always looking for validation from the wrong people, the sad girl who hid behind her smile, who didn’t have purpose or know her identity or her worth! Once I admitted that was who I was, I was able to bury her and be reborn in Christ! It was then I stopped feeling like I was missing out on things, because truth is I am not! Those things that used to pull me in before no longer call my name, and the reason is because I had to spiritually build myself up, the desires fell away when I armed myself spiritually! Don’t forget we are in a spiritual war, sometimes we forget about the unseen realm, but it is real! When we come to Christ, we have to remember that we were living under the influence of the enemy, for he is the spirit in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. To really be free of his power we have to build ourselves up in the spirit, by reading God’s word and applying it. Usually in the early days of our walk we don’t consume enough food for the spirit so we find it so difficult to deny our flesh. We need to understand that to deny our flesh is to be obedient to God!

I still love my friends, I still cherish them! I just live for God now, something I never did before! Sometimes I have the fear of being reminded of who I used to be, I don’t want to be in a situation where someone calls my past behaviours out. But I realise that’s a fear I don’t need to have, everything that happens is to give God the glory! Yes I might of used to be THAT girl, but now I am just a testimony of Gods enduring love! Hallelujah! As much as I love my friends I know that things are always going to be a little different as we walk different paths in life! But I know that God will use me to plant seeds, I don’t need to be one of those Christians trying to evangelize everyone that comes into my path, not in a way that alienates them. I know that my new life is meant to show and glorify Christ, His light that lives in me is meant to allure them to want to know more. MATTHEW 5:14-16 “YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD-LIKE A CITY ON A HILLTOP THAT CANNOT BE HIDDEN. NO ONE LIGHTS A LAMP AND THEN PUTS IT UNDER A BASKET. INSTEAD, A LAMP IS PLACED ON A STAND, WHERE IT GIVES LIGHT TO EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE. IN THE SAME WAY, LET YOUR GOOD DEEDS SHINE OUT FOR ALL TO SEE, SO THAT EVERYONE WILL PRAISE YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER.” I pray that my light shines for my friends to see. I pray that they will feel the call and answer the way I did! But whatever their journey may be, because its a different journey for all of us, I hope they know that even though they might not share my zeal or beliefs the fact that they never stopped being there for me, even when they didn’t understand me the same, I will always be grateful that they tried and loved me anyway! I guess this post is a reminder to love your neighbour as yourself, even if they are non believers! Christians are too quick to turn their backs on non Christians (well some, not all) and it’s left a bad taste in the mouth of others! Remember to always ask yourself this “what would Jesus do?!”

DO YOU UNDERSTAND GOD’S LOVE FOR YOU?

This week I had a deeper revelation of God’s love for me that absolutely wrecked me and brought me to tears! Of course when you become a follower of Christ, you are told about how much God loves you because He sacrificed His one and only Son for us, I mean who out here would sacrifice like that for you out of love? We might go a step further and call someone crazy for doing such a thing! But really anyone who has a loving, nurturing parent knows that without hesitation they would give their life for their child! Well we have the ultimate parent who did just that for each and everyone of us! So yes I grasped that notion that God loves us, but to be honest its been a concept that has been floating on the surface, mainly because I think I have issues with accepting true unconditional love, deep I know, but the Holy Spirit is revealing so much I didn’t know was there! I am reading the Bible and getting free therapy sessions from my counsellor! I am being refined, really made a new and it is a long process but I know it is so necessary to my walk. Sometimes we don’t even know how much we have hidden until we truly dig deep within ourselves! I can’t say I would ever truly fathom how deep God’s love runs for us but something hit me while studying the Book of Ephesians this week.

I think its fair to say I was left truly humbled and feeling unworthy, a feeling I don’t think I truly comprehended before! Please do not mistake me for being arrogant before God, never have and never will! I always humble myself, WE must ALL humble ourselves before God! But something clicked today about how God SEE’S me that took me to another level of humble. I realised that the disconnect came from how I view myself! I realised that I don’t see myself through God’s eyes, the vision I have is flawed, this is why the idea of God’s unconditional love for me wasn’t really penetrating the way it should! I really couldn’t comprehend it for myself. It’s funny because I will be the first to tell YOU God loves you with conviction, but I noticed that I was skimming past the notion when it came to myself! This revealed to me I have a heart issue, well I should say the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had an issue with the posture of my heart. We have a God who is a searcher of hearts and minds, so if something is not right trust and believe He will show you. The great thing about all of this is that I would of been still unaware of this issue if I hadn’t of picked up my Bible! This is why I will always say PLEASE READ YOUR BIBLES! If you want to experience true change, growth and Knowledge, it will come from God’s word, the source! The revelation for me was “maybe I don’t love myself the way I should?” I know we have all heard that saying ” if we can’t love ourselves how can we love anyone else!?” or something to that same affect. There is a definite truth to that I believe, because if I was made in the image and likeness of God but somehow have a problem with myself, it made me think how that had to have a knock on effect with how I receive God’s love!?! When we truly receive or understand why God loves us and how much He loves us, we experience a change within, and our hearts are bursting with joy! It promotes a change in our spirits and now our eyes and hearts are focused on Jesus, and what we focus on is what we emulate! So it’s fair to say we start to become more consecrated and Holy!

Now I know that feelings of unworthiness is advised to keep you humble, even the Apostle Paul refers to himself as undeserving! EPHESIANS 3:8 “ALTHOUGH I AM LESS THAN THE LEAST OF ALL THE LORD’S PEOPLE, THIS GRACE WAS GIVEN TO ME: TO PREACH TO THE GENTILES THE BOUNDLESS RICHES OF CHRIST” But even in his unworthiness and his acknowledgment of it, he doesn’t let it cripple him from doing what God has tasked him to do, he seems to accept God’s love, God’s grace, and get straight to business sharing the Good News, seeing his position as a privilege to serve! The problem with me or with us as a body of believers is that we can sometimes let that unworthiness stop us from doing what we have been called to do! Sometimes we can have trust issues that run deep from dealing with the disappointment of people. We become so jaded by this world we live in, when someone does anything for us we become suspicious, asking “why?” instead of just accepting a good deed with gratitude and moving on! This world has sold us a lie on love. When you think about it, it’s not surprising being that satan rules down here, and he is ALWAYS going to give us a perverted version of God’s way. Down here people do things for others disguised as love, but wait with expectation for you to reciprocate, because if you don’t then they get to remind you off all the things they did for you, and the things you don’t do is how they measure love. Down here love is love, meaning we all get to do whatever we like and nobody can tell you otherwise because that is not deemed as loving! (let me not get too carried away there!) But God say’s to us ” I love you despite of yourself, I love you because I made you, I love you even though you do not get it right all the time” and most importantly we can not skim by this “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” 1 John 4:9.

So the part that took my breath away in the book of Ephesians, and mind you I have yet to properly finish it, even though it is a short book there is so much to edify the spirit, I am going through it with a fine toothed comb! Earlier I mentioned how God saw me, and how it was different to how I saw myself. Well it’s Paul revealing the mysteries of God’s plan through Christ that humbled me. Let me see if I can break it down for you.

YOU are IMPORTANT! Let me start of there. You might look at your life now, and not feel much optimism about where or what this life has to offer you, but let me help you understand the way it clicked for me. Before God created the world He had a plan for YOU! He loved you so much He chose you, because He knew you already! Take a moment and let that set in…. Now His plan for you was to be Holy (EPHESIANS 1:4), and the Hebrew word for Holy means to be set apart! But set apart from what? Well if this was his plan before the world was created the only thing I could see was that He set us apart from the Angels, as that seemed to be the story less talked about when we think of the fall of satan which we know happened before God created the earth! Now stay with me here because it was reading further that solidified that idea for me! Because of man’s fall from grace with Adam and Eve, we were spiritually dead because it has become our nature to live in disobedience to God, we live to follow the desires of our flesh, doing what “feels” right at the whim of our sinful nature! EPHESIANS 2:2 “YOU USED TO LIVE IN SIN, JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD, OBEYING THE DEVIL-THE COMMANDER OF THE POWERS OF THE UNSEEN WORLD. HE IS THE SPIRIT AT WORK IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO REFUSE TO OBEY GOD.” Imagine living under the wrath of God because of our disobedience! And even though we lived this way God still planned a way for us to be reconciled to Him! That is love, a love I will never fully realise, because usually when people do me wrong consistently my response isn’t to find a way to reconcile. But God being so full of grace saved you through Christ! He purchased your freedom with the blood of his only Son, because He knew that was the only way you could draw close to Him, the only way your sin’s could be forgiven so you could have eternal life and gain a seat with Him in the heavenly place through Christ! Because of your belief in Christ, you are saved by the grace of God which is a gift, and this has nothing to do with all the good you have done, so that you can not boast! (EPHESIANS 2:8-9)

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So as unworthy as we may be, God still wants to redeem us! So even now as believers in Christ, when we let that feeling of unworthiness start to cripple us, its this knowledge of God’s love for us that should have us back on task like Paul! EPHESIANS 3:10 “GOD’S PURPOSE IN ALL THIS WAS TO USE THE CHURCH TO DISPLAY HIS WISDOM IN IT’S RICH VARIETY TO ALL THE UNSEEN RULERS AND AUTHORITIES IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES.” Remember when I talked about being set apart from the angels? Well this was the verse that solidified it for me! Doesn’t that blow your mind, or is it just me? When you believed in Christ you became part of one body (the church) You received the helper, the Holy Spirit, who was sent to lead you, blessing you with all the gifts of the spirit which come from the heavenly places, this is the sign that you have been purchased through the blood of Christ and a sign you will receive your inheritance that was promised from God! You gain God’s wisdom and it is shown through all the good things you do which He planned from long ago! And all this wisdom you show is just to display the multi faceted God you serve! And like a body we all have different functions, and your function may not look like your neighbours, your function may even seem minute, but its not because nothing about God is minute and nothing about God is unimportant! And all of this is to show these unseen rulers and authorities in heaven the richness that is God because they would never know this about their creator without YOU! I swear I had never looked at it like this before! This is the fun part of being a new believer, it’s learning all these things that let me know the character of my Father, it’s the deeper understanding of all that Jesus Christ has done for me!

I am gonna end with Paul and his prayer for the people of Ephesus, a prayer for spiritual growth for us all! I pray that you who reads this, God will empower you with inner strength, I pray that Christ will truly make a home in your heart, so that your faith will keep you grounded in his peace so that you will experience his love for you “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” Ephesians 3:18

LIVING SINGLE AND EMBRACING CELIBACY!

I promise to not make this post super uncomfortable but this is the post where we talk about SEX! *cue dramatic music* ok who am I kidding, this is probably gonna get a little uncomfortable, well for me at least since I am the one who will be baring my soul to you! I believe it’s so important to be transparent and honest, too many people (Christians) have these secret lives, living in shame and denial! Well I say there is no shame in admitting your struggles, the things you do in secret, no more hiding! because ultimately what we are really hiding from is ourselves, because we definitely cannot hide from God! When we hide, it stops us from repenting, and coming to God in repentance is so important in our walks! We all have a past, and some of our pasts are more colourful than others, but its those experiences that shape us, it’s those trauma’s for some that God uses to help us share with others how good our Father is, because even in our transgressions, God is so full of grace and mercy that his hand is always out stretched to us!

I think at the age of 39 it’s no surprise to know I am no virgin. I’ve only technically had one long term (7 year) relationship, after that its been plenty of near misses, you know when you think you meet someone great but after a few months (if that) they show their true colours? But in between all that it’s been a lot of casual hook ups. I went through a sexual liberation phase, I was celebrating being free and sexually uninhibited, and I was actively looking for these kind of connections all under the guise of female empowerment! Let me tell you as a Christian woman if you subscribe to that movement of feminism I warn you to be careful because its a slippery slope that can lead you away from a Christ led life! The joke of it was sexually I wasn’t fully fulfilled like you would expect living that life style, and its not got anything to do with the men I encountered, but more to do with the way God created me! I’ve always been a person that enjoyed building mental and emotional connections more than the physical, without that initial connection, sex wasn’t that earth shattering for me no matter the skill of my partner. So after kissing a lot of frogs, and experiencing some sexual trauma because of lack of wisdom on my part (some frogs need to be avoided at all costs!) by the summer of 2019 (before I found Christ) I had decided that I was not going to give my body away casually anymore, I would save myself for a real relationship! As you can imagine, once I put those conditions on my sex life, my sex life became non existent because surprise surprise nobody I met was ever looking for a long term commitment. By the time November came along, when I gave my life to Christ I had a taste of celibacy so I figured it would be easy to switch to being celibate until I met my husband.

It’s funny how as soon as I put those restrictions on myself, every temptation got thrown in my path! For 6 straight months, it seemed like every guy I had encountered had dusted off their black book and decided to check in on me! Some of them wanting to hook up again for old time sake or even asking about exploring more than just the casual setting, even my long term ex had tried to rekindle something! It was a crazy time! But like I said as soon as I decided to be obedient to God, the enemy tried his hardest to tempt me by offering me a perverted version of what I ultimately wanted, a relationship. ROMANS 8:7-8 “THE MIND GOVERNED BY THE FLESH IS HOSTILE TO GOD; IT DOES NOT SUBMIT TO GOD’S LAW, NOR CAN IT DO SO. THOSE WHO ARE IN THE REALM OF THE FLESH CANNOT PLEASE GOD.” I know the thought of abstaining from sex can seem like an impossible option for some, especially those who are not in a relationship with God, but when I understood what God was asking from me, It stopped feeling like a sacrifice! It started off by me understanding that my body was a temple. I know that is a concept that most are familiar with, but I truly understood that the temple (my body) is where the Holy Spirit resides, the Holy Spirit I received when I believed and accepted Jesus! When we accept Christ we are made into a new creation, its the Holy Spirit that renews us, and causes our desires to change, but we have to be obedient and allow the change to take place! GALATIONS 5:16 “SO I SAY, LET THE HOLY SPIRIT GUIDE YOUR LIVES. THEN YOU WON’T BE DOING WHAT YOUR SINFUL NATURE CRAVES.” When we really let the Holy Spirit guide us, all the things we thought we couldn’t live without become a memory of a past life! Your mind is renewed and your cravings change. Honestly it’s been over year of celibacy and I don’t think about sex! I feel differently about the act itself! Like I said before, I was casually giving my body away without any thought. Now I understand the intimacy of that act and how God intended me to experience it! God showed me that it’s a sacred act to be experienced between man and woman who make a covenant with each other and God in marriage. He showed me the two come together to become one flesh, and that’s how we honor Him in our unions! When you want to live to please God, the things that He hates start to become the things you hate! This is how we start to align ourselves with the will of God!

When I started to learn what it really meant to be a wife, and not in the worlds standard of what a good wife is, but God’s standard, I started to think about the roles we play in relationships! Suddenly the thought of being single seemed smart, and not for the reasons you might think, but because I realised that I had a lot of unlearning to do when it came to my idea of what a good relationship or partner looked like! Ultimately I needed to relearn what the word SUBMISSION meant now that I was a child of God. The word submission in culture today when it refers to women in relationships is viewed so negatively, that it is almost impossible to have these conversations and come to any agreement, especially when we live in a society that champions the women empowerment and feminist movement! Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for women’s rights, and fairness and equality, and I believe God is too! He never made us all in His likeness and image so that we could be at war with each other about who holds more importance, we are all equal, we just have different roles to play! We have a God of order, not of confusion! If God is calling me to submit to my future husband and I have a problem with it, then something is not right here! So before I could think about submission to the future man in my life, I had to learn to submit to God! Because if I can’t submit to God then what chance would I stand in my union?!? I started to look at submission as a good thing, not as a loss of self but a gain of self, a different kind of empowerment. If you read PROVERBS 31:10-31 in the Old Testament, you get an idea of what God views as a noble woman, a woman that God says deserves praise and to be rewarded, and its not a helpless woman who lives under the thumb of her husband! It’s a strong woman, who takes care of her family, is a business woman (a boss!) she is wise, she isn’t lazy, she is hard working! she enriches her husbands life, she instructs with kindness! Just to name a few things. This same woman, who is strong in mind, a boss, and wise still submits to her husband! My fears of submission, I realised came from my past traumas in relationships and encounters with men in my life, I found it hard to separate my experiences and pain. The things I experienced before I found Christ were still weighing on me heavily! I had to let that go and understand that I no longer had to carry that into my new life, and God would teach me what a man with a heart for Jesus would look like, and that would be how I would decide on who my future husband would be!

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It takes a lot of work to change your list of requirements when looking for a partner. When your list is full of superficial wants that have nothing to with heart and character you are setting yourself up for a fall! Now my list is all about heart, about being equally yoked! I am asking about prayer life and relationship status with Jesus, because if I am called to submit to my husband he has to be in submission to God! If you are submitting to a husband who isn’t obedient to God first, you leave the door open for the enemy to enter and destroy! I know I am no marriage expert but I believe you don’t have to be to use the wisdom that God provides you when you read His Word. So to all my single ladies out here who really want to find a holy union, have patience, use this time to really grow in your relationship with God, learn to do what pleases Him and be obedient, because trust me God is using this time to shape and mold you so that you are the woman you need to be! He is making you into a Proverbs 31 woman! Read 1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-35, which basically tells us to use this time of singleness to serve the Lord because when you find your mate your earthly responsibilities of pleasing your partner will become more important! It’s because of this I am content with my season of singleness, I now see the benefits of this time! I know my Father knows what the desires of my heart is and he would not give me such desires which align with His sovereign will if He did not intend to full fill them! It’s because of this knowledge of God’s heart that I can wait patiently with a joyous heart of my own.

HOW DO WE KNOW WE ARE REALLY SAVED?

So this wasn’t what I planned to talk about this week, but life happens and sometimes God presses on your heart and you have to listen and respond with a YES. A lot happened this week, I had a scare with my mum which as you can imagine wasn’t fun, although we know that we are not immortals and death is guaranteed, it still doesn’t make it any easier to deal with! I am happy to report that my mum is alive and well, praise Jesus! But this led to an interesting conversation with my mum about her salvation! As you know I haven’t been on my faith journey for long, and I am still a new Christian compared to some, but my mum sincerely accepted Christ this year through faith and faith alone! Let me give you a little back story.

I have a close relationship with my mum, we talk practically everyday, we have a great friendship! So during my coming to Christ my mum knew everything, she was very supportive and encouraging! Through me God was reaching out to her, he was transforming her and she didn’t even realise! My mum had always believed you had to be perfect to come to Christ (this was bad teaching she experienced in her life having a brief encounter with Jehovah Witnesses) it was this belief that kept her away from God! She felt unworthy, and I remember her always saying “I need to get my life together first.” God used me to show her that He wanted her as she was, and that nobody would ever be perfect! As we all know covid happened, so a lot of plans had to get put on a shelf as the whole world shut down. I had initially hoped to get baptised in 2020 but that wasn’t possible so I put that on hold along with the rest of my life, I just used that time to continue to learn about Jesus and the goodness of God, sharing everything with my mum. During that time I prayed for her, asking God to soften her heart and to help her come to know Him!

God’s timing is always perfect! There is a good reason why I didn’t get baptised in 2020, God was still doing work in my mum! I got baptised in June 2021, and the week leading up to my baptism I prayed like I had never prayed before! I was going through my own feelings of unworthiness, the enemy was desperate, he was doing everything to sway me from my decision! That week I asked God to do something big on the day of my baptism, something so big that I couldn’t deny it was Him moving! When I think back on that time I laugh at the audacity and boldness I had to challenge my Father in that way, but My God is loving, full of grace and mercy, He understood my heart and what I needed at that time, and our God always gives us what we need! Jesus told his disciples “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24) so that’s exactly what I was doing, I was believing with my whole heart that something would happen on that day! When the day of my baptism arrived I was excited, nervous, happy that my mum and brother were gonna be there to experience an important day of my new life. That morning as I was writing my testimony in preparation, my phone rang, I looked and saw my mum’s name on the screen, my first thought was she was calling to say she wouldn’t be able to make it (she suffers with arthritis, so sometimes she isn’t mobile) I answered the phone and she was tearful and emotional, of course I was worried thinking something had happened! I asked what was wrong? and her words were ” I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I woke up emotional and in tears, I am gonna bring extra clothes with me!” of course I was confused, and asked what did she mean bring extra clothes?! that’s when she said “I wanna get baptised!” I think that’s the first time I was truly overwhelmed and speechless! I told my mum YES!! God had answered my prayer, He had done something so big that I couldn’t deny him! That day me and my mum got baptised together! A day I will never forget! There is so much more I can say about what happened on that day but that isn’t the point of this post, I am showing you how she believed through faith, nothing more than pure faith! EPHESIANS 2:8-9 “GOD SAVED YOU BY HIS GRACE WHEN YOU BELIEVED. AND YOU CAN’T TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS; IT IS A GIFT FROM GOD. SALVATION IS NOT A REWARD FOR THE GOOD THINGS WE HAVE DONE, SO NONE OF US CAN BOAST ABOUT IT.”

I remember sharing that verse with her before she got baptised, and I believe she truly received it because she came to Christ in confidence that no matter what she was doing with her life, God still wanted her! This kind of reminds me of the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:1-9) I really encourage you to read it if you haven’t before, but a basic summary of it is about how the Word affects us, whether it sticks to us, or it is snatched away from us (this is a very basic summary lol) My mum had forgotten that she was saved by grace, she had reverted back to her old way of thinking! So when her mortality was challenged this week and she considered life and death she believed that she wasn’t saved because she wasn’t doing any “works”, she hadn’t attended church for a couple of weeks and she wasn’t picking up her bible, she even admitted that she was having what I like to call “imposter syndrome” where you feel like you don’t belong. That’s when I realised the word had fallen on the surface, it had not taken root!

The thing we need to understand about this walk of faith is the adversary is very real! When we choose Christ and become children of God, he hates it! He starts to throw everything at us to break our spirit! He lies to us and tells us we are not worthy and God doesn’t want us! He is so desperate to corrupt our hearts and have us back in a life of sin, a life of death! We start to feel so under attack it can become very easy for us to reconsider the narrow road and exchange it for the wider more treaded path! But think of it this way, if you had thirty more years guaranteed on this earth, but after the thirty years are up you have eternity to contend with, what would be more important to you? thirty years or eternity? Would you trade your eternity with Jesus at the throne for thirty short years of a somewhat comfortable life? I know what I’m choosing! An eternity without Jesus is something I don’t even wanna think about! The Bible warns us of all of this, God show’s us in many ways the kind of afflictions we can be subjected to as Christians, but the great thing about the Bible is it tells us how to overcome it all! We just have to pick it up and read it! EPHESIANS 6:11 “PUT ON THE FULL ARMOUR OF GOD, SO THAT YOU CAN TAKE YOUR STAND AGAINST THE DEVIL’S SCHEMES.”

Our battle is not against flesh and blood, it is a spiritual one, against the powers of this dark world and the forces of evil! I know that may sound like a movie and the reality of it can invoke fear, but we have nothing to fear if we turn up to the battle fully equipped! God gives us the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the spirit (which is the word of God) all while our feet our fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace! We have everything we need to slay our enemy, we are capable, we have the authority in the mighty name of JESUS! The enemy doesn’t want us to know this so he keeps us distracted so that we don’t arm ourselves the way God intended us by picking up our bibles! The enemy lies to us and makes us think we have no power, this is what keeps us in bondage!

The thing is we are all on our own journey’s, and they may all look a little different! We all arrive at our own revelation at some point, and that is ok because that is what shapes us, God uses it all to give Him the glory! But these are the last days, so please do not be asleep and miss our Lord all because you wasn’t prepared! You believed and received so you are saved! But that is only the start of your journey! God is calling you to seek Him, He wants to do so much in your life, He chose YOU! He knew you before He sent you into your mother’s womb! He loved you from then! That is a long time to love someone! And through it all, even when you were not perfect, and even now when you knowingly do what you shouldn’t He never stopped wanting you, His hand was always outstretched to you! When you start to move, when you put that faith that caused you to believe into action, watch Him move mountains in your life! You will start to experience Him like you could never imagine! Get to know Him, pick up your bible and discover how good He is! Whatever the enemy is throwing at you right now, trust and believe it is only for a short time, once you start to learn your true identity in Christ, you will have the power to overcome and the enemy has no other choice but to flee! I say this all with my mum in mind but this is for anyone who may be feeling weighed down! God is calling you! But will you answer?…..

WHO AM I?…..

The question that everyone asks themselves at some point in their life! When you don’t subscribe to any belief system (like I used to) that question can haunt you like a toxic ex that hits you up every couple of years with a “hi bighead” I remember having many seasons of feeling unfulfilled with life, lack of purpose, always in the pursuit of happiness and failing. We are always working towards “something”, but that “something” is never really the true prize because once we achieve that “something” a new target is set, then we ride that roller-coaster again! No wonder depression and anxiety is at an all time high. Life becomes exhausting and unsatisfying, and I haven’t even added relationships into the mix!

Before I found my identity in Christ, I felt like a failure! My standards or judgments on who I should be were heavily influenced by culture/society, what they deemed as successfully adulting and winning at life! I am in my late 30’s, no children, unmarried and single (couldn’t even date successfully), don’t own property (I rent a room), all the things society looks down at you for! I only really felt appeased because I had a decent paying job, but it was just that, a job! I was on my own roller-coaster of life and I was not enjoying it! The first truth that God revealed to me, was that culture was wrong! My worth was not based on material things or titles! Do you realise how freeing it is to let that go?? That invisible weight that I carried on my shoulders for years, gone! This timeline of life that the world works on is unrealistic, its dated and holds no relevance to the life of the modern day man/woman! But lets throw God into the mix, and when you consider that a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day to God as it says in 2 Peter 3:8 then its fair to say our perception of time is invalid! It was learning that God’s timeline and my timeline were never gonna be in sync that brought real clarity! It was realising that I was right where I was meant to be, it was learning that God had a kingdom purpose for my life and He was waiting for ME to come into alignment with His will!

All these things helped me to shed the shackles that Mary, Mary sang about. Not to say that I am free of all “shackles” I’ve got a lot of work to do still! BUT the one bondage that seems to be on everyone’s lips these days “IDENTITY” no longer keeps me bound! Consider how important the topic of identity is today, there are plenty of “groups” who feel unaccepted because of how they identify, whether its your sexuality or gender, or even race, the conversation seems to be in constant rotation! I’ve spent countless conversations trying to make people see that I’m more than the colour of my skin, and I can tell you that I’m tired of THAT conversation! I don’t know what was worse, my own perception of my identity or other peoples perception of how they identified ME! Now, I can’t imagine my whole identity being based on something that can be taken away, or on something that isn’t constant. Not to trivialise the feelings and experiences of others, because I’ve been there and done that, but I’ve learned that feelings are not facts! And our feelings mostly stem from the desires of our flesh!

JEREMIAH 17:9 “THE HUMAN HEART IS THE MOST DECEITFUL OF ALL THINGS, AND DESPERATELY WICKED. WHO REALLY KNOWS HOW BAD IT IS?” The desires of the heart can be a dangerous thing! We constantly have to exercise discernment when it comes to how we “feel” about a thing, we are so fickle, we live in the age of cancel culture, where in one day you can go from the most loved, to the most hated! Give it six months nobody even remembers why you were even “cancelled”. We start living for the approval and validation of others, and we lose ourselves in the process! When we RECEIVE and BELIEVE in His name (JESUS) we have the right to be called children of God! When we become children of God we recognise that we are made in the image/likeness of God, and we stop living for ourselves, we die to our old selves and we are made new, our validation comes from God not fickle (hu)man! 2 CORINTHIANS 5:15 “AND HE DIED FOR ALL, THAT THOSE WHO LIVE SHOULD NO LONGER LIVE FOR THEMSELVES BUT FOR HIM WHO DIED FOR THEM AND WAS RAISED AGAIN.” Doesn’t get much clearer than that does it!? The hard part is accepting that YOU are no longer in control, but giving it all over to God. That has been a process for me, and still is if I’m honest! I’m constantly reminding myself I am not the God of my life!

My identity is now in Christ! I no longer live for myself! I am no longer in control! My old life has gone, my new life has begun! I am a child of God and I answer to my heavenly Father who is constant and never changes! He calls me to be the light and salt of the earth, to share that God loves YOU so much that he sacrificed His only Son so that He could be reconciled with you because He desires a relationship with His children! 2 CORINTHIANS 5:18 “AND ALL THIS IS A GIFT FROM GOD, WHO BROUGHT US BACK TO HIMSELF THROUGH CHRIST. AND GOD HAS GIVEN US THIS TASK OF RECONCILING PEOPLE TO HIM.” Being a Christian gives me identity and purpose, and my purpose has nothing to do with material things or status, it has nothing to do with what others feel, or even what I feel! Part of the journey/walk with JESUS includes constantly reminding myself of this. We are human and we are not gonna get it right all the time, we are not perfect, only JESUS could remain perfect in his human form because he was God wrapped up in flesh! We are not God’s! There is only one God! And He has enough GRACE for us to love us beyond our mistakes, He is not fickle! So we need to have enough GRACE for ourselves when we forget WHO WE ARE! The enemy is constantly working to confuse us and cast doubt! Its hard out here in these sanctified streets! The only advise I can offer anyone struggling with identity is to seek your Father! Learn about who JESUS is and what he did on the cross! Only when we discover the identity of JESUS CHRIST do we truly discover OURSELVES!

BACK IN NOVEMBER 2019…

Before I start on this journey it is only right that I start from the beginning. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Cerise, I’m a black single female who found Jesus in November 2019. Now my story is not extraordinary, and for that reason I suspect some might find it relatable, or maybe not *shrugs shoulders* but before you understand where I am at present, you need to know where I came from.

Its funny how God reaches out to you from the most unexpected of places! At 38 yrs old I was enjoying a karaoke app named “Smule”. Now I had been on that app for a solid 5 years! If you enjoy singing, and enjoy meeting new people then this app is very addictive and it consumed a lot of my free time. But still God found me…. I started singing regularly with a guy from the USA ( yes there is always a guy involved *rolls eyes*) not only did we sound great together, we got on very well and became fast friends. Our friendship blossomed very quickly that we started to communicate outside of the app. Now I know you are thinking where does God come into this, well my new friend was a Christian! We had a long distance friendship as I am from the UK, but we spoke everyday! Every so often my friend would share stories from the bible, sounds very random but the way he told them always brought them into the 21st century. He was well aware that I was not a Christian, but he never treated me less than, or made me feel like I was excluded from some special club. He didn’t preach at me, you know like how you see some of the street proclaimers who aggressively scream in peoples faces about repenting, or meeting your end in a pit of flames! He actually never went out of his way to evangelise me like you might think either, what he did was so much better! What he did was share what God had done in HIS life, the life he used to live, the man he used to be, the freedom he found that only comes with following JESUS!

I believed in a God, I knew there was no such thing as evolution, I knew that there had to be something more in this world, the intelligence that comes from constructing this earth was no accident! But even though I believed in A God, I didn’t know what that meant to my life! Who was God, and what did he want from me? In the past I have had strong urges to want to find God, but being that I had nobody around me that subscribed to any kind of doctrine I never knew what to do about it or where to even start! So I carried on and everyday life became a distraction (the enemy is crafty like that)

ACTS 2:39 THE PROMISE IS FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND FOR ALL WHO ARE FAR OFF- FOR ALL WHOM THE LORD OUR GOD WILL CALL. When the Apostle Peter was addressing the crowd telling them what they needed to do for forgiveness of their sins, that last part struck me! GOD CALLS YOU! There are plenty of verses that talk about Gods calling that are probably better examples like MATTHEW 22:14, I’m just currently reading the book of ACTS right now. But really consider that, he calls us! Do you ever find yourself drawn to know God? maybe you are a believer maybe you are not, but think back in your life, have you ever felt the pull/call of God? I realised in that moment that those random urges I felt in the past to know God was actually God calling me! But I never answered. The enemy is like bad reception on a phone call, God rings your phone, and you try to answer but the enemy runs interference and now the call is breaking up and you can’t hear a thing, so you hang up! Well praise JESUS I finally answered!

Now I had a very distorted view of what the Bible was, it’s purpose and what it said. Ask me where these ideas came from, I can’t even really tell you! I guess I would say it was a mixture of other peoples OPINION, what I FELT, and what the CULTURE we live in told me! I felt so strongly about these feelings/opinions that didn’t even originate from my thoughts, how strange right!? I always considered myself a fair person, never made judgments based on other peoples opinion before, so why was I doing it now? The problem was anytime I had biblical questions I always found Christians clueless! Now I’m not saying all Christians lack knowledge, I’m just saying I could tell by the response I got when asking questions that there was a disconnect. Unfortunately all that did was make me feel I was right, and my feelings were justified.

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Now where was I? Oh yes, my friend was a Christian! Not only was he a Christian, he was a Christian who read his bible, spent time in Gods word and knew more than any Christian I had ever come across before! He was able to provide so much clarity to my thoughts, always giving context to scripture he presented! Having a new take on the bible I wanted to know and understand more! I always had this impression that the bible was boring, dated text that had no relevance to life as we know it, oh how wrong I was! So the beginning of November I made the decision to purchase my first bible. My intention was to just read it, I wanted to see what else it said, I still had other thoughts and feelings that needed answers! If I’m really honest part of me was reading it to still validate what I thought I knew to be truth. I didn’t read it to come to Christ, but to satisfy my own need to be right! Well God sure showed me! With the help and assistance from my friend I started reading it everyday. By the end of November I told my friend “I think I might be a Christian!?!”

I can’t explain the power of God! I just know its real! In that moment I had never felt so sure about anything, never felt so convicted before! I decided that I needed JESUS! I guess the rest is history. Here I am almost 2 years in my walk with Christ, still learning so much (do you ever really stop learning?!) feeling like a real toddler. I am learning that being in Christ is nothing to do with religion but its all about relationship, and just like any relationship, what you put in is what you get out! It’s not been easy, but JESUS warned us the righteous road would be narrow, I just underestimated how narrow it would be. The narrow road has brought me so many blessings, blessings that have made the journey worth it! I could never go back to my old life, I wouldn’t even want to! I lived in so much bondage in my past life, not to say life is peaches and cream now, I still have strongholds that I am battling with, but I know that I will overcome them in the mighty name of JESUS! So welcome to MY CONVICTIONS. This is a safe place where I share my thoughts and feelings on my new life with Christ, how I am constantly convicted during my restoration, basically a journal that nobody asked for! Lets normalise being honest with our walks! If it inspires one person to seek their Father, then my work here is done!