Hello June, Yes, I know I missed May. I am coming to you from a brand new computer because the devil is a lie. In my delay to post last month, I have had a complete change of plan. I watched the most powerful testimony recently, which left such an impact on me that I am now writing this instead of what I originally had planned. God does that sometimes. So expect a bonus post this month. I watched a testimony from a man from Uganda called John Mulinde, titled “A Call to Repentance,” on Youtube; I highly recommend you watch it! After watching it, I was in tears, crying out to the Lord in repentance for forgiveness. It was the first time I felt the fear of God. It sounds strange to say that, but in my short walk with Christ I have felt many things; love, joy, peace, a wholeness, comfort; just to name a few, but not fear. I’ve spent all this time telling myself not to fear and how fear is not the Spirit of God, we all know how that verse goes from 2 Timothy 1:7. But never have I had the fear of the Lord until I watched that video! I’m not gonna try and tell you this mans story, as I would never do it any justice, instead I will share what I was convicted about in hopes that you too will stop and take stock of yourself and examine your heart like I had to.
PROVERBS 9:10 “FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE FOUNDATION OF WISDOM. KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY ONE RESULTS IN GOOD JUDGEMENT.” Fear is good when it is a fear of God. It’s like the fear we used to have of our parents when we were children, that fear of getting into trouble if you were caught doing something you were told not to do. That is a healthy fear; the fear of authority, and of righteous judgment. The fear of the Lord because He is Holy. It is the beginning of wisdom, but only the beginning.
When I read about God in the Old Testament, He is terrifying! Yes, He loves us, and He is faithful and all the other wonderful attributes we know our Father has, but He is Holy! Holy! Holy! That Holiness that sets Him apart from any other god out there is why He is terrifying. It’s His Holiness why there is judgement coming for all of us, and knowledge of His Holiness results in good judgement! When I first encountered Jesus, He showed me my heart and showed me His Holiness, which is why I knew I was a sinner and needed to repent of all the things I did which were evil in the eyes of God. It’s His Holiness that causes us to repent and know how unworthy we are! In the book of Luke chapter 5, when Jesus is preaching on the shore of Galilee, He meets Simon Peter and tells him to cast nets to catch fish. Simon Peter had been working hard the night before to catch fish but was unsuccessful, so although he wasn’t too hopeful, he was obedient and cast the nets as Jesus requested. This time, the nets were so full of fish that they began to tear. The amount of fish caught filled two boats on the verge of sinking! Look at Simon Peters response to Jesus LUKE 5:8 “WHEN SIMON PETER REALIZED WHAT HAD HAPPENED, HE FELL TO HIS KNEES BEFORE JESUS AND SAID, “OH, LORD, PLEASE LEAVE ME-I’M SUCH A SINFUL MAN.” When we are really encountering Jesus in our life we should always be in a state of repentence, there shouldn’t be a day when we don’t ask God for forgivness because like Simon Peter we too are sinful and Jesus is Holy! Holy! Holy! God does great things through His children; He is a God still doing miracles, signs, and wonders through His people, for His people today! And it’s not because of how good we are, but because He loves us so much! Because He uses us mightily; in ways others can only dream of, we become complacent in our walk with Him. Somehow His Holiness is diminished and we unconsciously put ourselves on a level with God because He is speaking to us or doing wonders and miracles through us; like we are part of an inner circle, untouchable because we have a direct line to God. How foolish we are! like all of that excuses us from the judgement seat when Jesus returns!
MATTHEW 7:22-23 “ON JUDGEMENT DAY MANY WILL SAY TO ME, “LORD! LORD! WE PROPHESIED IN YOUR NAME AND CAST OUT DEMONS IN YOUR NAME AND PERFORMED MANY MIRACLES IN YOUR NAME.” BUT I WILL REPLY, “I NEVER KNEW YOU. GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU WHO BREAK GOD’S LAWS.”
Watching that testimony showed me how unsafe I was, how the Lord can easily tell me to depart from Him. This man who was planting churches in Uganda, doing everything in the name of Jesus, going through trials, sacrificing all he had to follow God and start his ministry, something’s many of us would struggle to do. You would look at this man and think, what an anointed man of God! And even though it was clear God was using him to do many things for the kingdom, he was visited by God one day and told that if Jesus was to return right now, he would not be saved! Can you imagine that!?! My mouth hit the floor in shock and disbelief! It didn’t matter all that he had done and was doing, God said it was because of what was in his heart! He would lust after women and use his imagination in ways that weren’t Holy. He had allowed himself to get into the habit of doing it because he wasn’t acting out on any of his thoughts, so he minimized the sin; and yes, thoughts are just as sinful. MATTHEW 5:28 “BUT I SAY, ANYONE WHO EVEN LOOKS AT A WOMAN WITH LUST HAS ALREADY COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART.” The problem was a heart issue. As soon as he was saying this, I instantly knew God would say the same to me and the fear of the Lord came over me so powerfully, I was literally wailing in sorrow over how sorry I was and how much of a sinner I was! God reminded me that He is Holy! Holy! Holy! And that there is no such thing as a small sin to God. He is so perfect and righteous that sin is just sin! When He calls you to account for your life, no sin will be minimized. When He retells everything you have done, it will be blown to full scale, and you won’t be able to plead your case. There will be no “but it was only….” God is too Holy for that.
I realised that I had minimized sin in my life; in my heart. I had forgotten God’s Holiness. I remember in my tears and snotty nose, I kept repeating, “It’s not small! It’s not small!” I have never been so grateful for hearing someone else’s testimony. There are no great levels of sin. There is just sin, and God hates it all! The enemy loves to deceive us and have us believe that whatever God says is a lie. He has been doing that since the beginning when he tempted Eve in the Garden, always finding a way to fill us with doubt asking us, “Did God really say?” God is God because He is Holy, and as His children, He requires us to be Holy too. We are set apart for God, not for ourselves.
JEREMIAH 17:10 “BUT I, THE LORD, SEARCH ALL HEARTS AND EXAMINE SECRET MOTIVES. I GIVE ALL PEOPLE THEIR DUE REWARDS, ACCORDING TO WHAT THEIR ACTIONS DESERVE.” You can not hide your heart from God. You may be able to fool everyone else, but God sees all things. The Lord warns us that our heart is wicked and deceitful. This is what will keep us from seeing eternal glory! This is why our heart posture is so important to our walk with Christ. We need constant reminding of this because it’s easy for us to be deceived into thinking we are safe. Yes, you go to church on Sunday’s, yes you serve at church in different ways. Yes, you pray for your brothers and sisters; but what does your heart say? Because in the end, when God searches your heart, all that other stuff won’t matter if your heart is not right with God!
The most important thing I was reminded of was God’s Holiness and that He calls me to be Holy, too. Jesus said in JOHN 17:17 “MAKE THEM HOLY BY YOUR TRUTH; TEACH THEM YOUR WORD, WHICH IS TRUTH.” God’s Word makes us Holy because it is truth. We need more of His word to help keep us safe from the evil one, to keep our hearts in check! His signs and wonders; his word of knowledge to us is not a replacement for His Word, which is truth. It’s not what keeps us Holy and guarantees us entry to the wedding feast. So don’t get too comfortable out here. While God gives you breath to see a new day because of His mercy, have wisdom and fear the Lord!
PSALMS 139:23-24 “SEARCH ME, O GOD, AND KNOW MY HEART; TEST ME AND KNOW MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. POINT OUT ANYTHING IN ME THAT OFFENDS YOU, AND LEAD ME ALONG THE PATH OF EVERLASTING LIFE.” AMEN.
MY CONVICTIONS 