WHO’S BODY IS IT ANYWAY?

I hope the month of May finds you in good health, physically and spiritually! We are at the end of the month and so much is happening in this world we live in. It’s sad to watch the lost fall further away from the light of God. The most disturbing thing of late has been the talk of women’s bodies and what they have the right to do with them. I’m talking about the sensitive topic of abortion. I have debated about discussing this topic, but its been hard to ignore of late because of what’s going on in America (it’s always America lol) Plus it’s been a very triggering subject for me as in my past life I was no stranger to that procedure. So I have been wrestling with the feelings of seeming hypocritical about my stance on it now. I have constantly had to remind myself that I was once dead in my transgressions, but now that I have accepted Christ I am reborn, I am a new creation, I know better now because I live in God’s truth, my sins are forgiven!

It’s funny listening to peoples views about abortion, it reminds me that I once held the same opinions, like I said before I have utilised that option more than once. I never thought anything about it then, it was like going for a routine procedure at my doctors, it was an option I had no problem using! Fast forward to now and that choice I made haunts me to this day. I know that God has forgiven my past transgressions but forgiving myself is something I am working on. The sad thing about it is I always saw myself as a mother, I’ve always been told I would make a good one. When I was younger I had a vision for my life. When I think about it, it was quite traditional. I always wanted to get married, I saw myself with a husband, kids and a house (minus the white picket fence) I saw all these things happening for me by the age of 30, because at 19 yrs of age 30 felt ancient! Now I am knocking at 40’s door, alone. Sometimes I feel like maybe I missed my chance to have those things, sometimes my mind tells me its my punishment. Of course deep down inside I know better.

There are many reasons that women choose the option of abortion, but I can only tell you about my reasons. The first time I made that choice I was 19 yrs old. 19 was a big year for me, it was the year I discovered my sexuality and the year I lost my virginity. I was the last in a group of my friends. Although I wasn’t really in a rush, the fact that I was in a friends group who shared this experience, I felt like I was falling behind, and the more I hesitated the more fear I built up around sex. Now no one ever sat me down to tell me about sex and how to have it safely, I was just out here winging it. My mum ignored the topic in hopes I would just forget about it and I wouldn’t show any interest in the act. Of course that was not what happened, instead the world and its views taught me about sex.

I was so naïve to sex and the repercussions of it, I was just learning from my mistakes, and not always. Before the year was out I found myself pregnant and in an abusive relationship. I won’t go into details about that but I was already planning my escape so there was no way in my mind I was ready for that responsibility, and I surely didn’t want to be tied to a man that was mentally trying to destroy me and now was being physical and threatening. My mum was not against it, she had a history of also using that as an “easy fix” option. So that was that, it was quick and I carried on with life feeling relieved. The next time was very different, it was not so easy as I wanted to be a mother, although I was only 21 years old, I was in a different relationship, I was young, still naïve and in love. My partner (who I ended up spending 7yrs of my life with) wasn’t really committed, I was ten steps ahead in where I thought we were in our relationship. Everyone saw it for what it was but me, but that’s what happens when you are young and in love. When I realised three months in (the first trimester) that I was pregnant, my mum was upset, more because she didn’t like my boyfriend but she also thought I was too young! She saw me going down the same path as she did, being a young single mother, and she didn’t want that for me. It was her idea for me to see the doctor to discuss my “options”. Like I said before, I wanted to be a mother. I wasn’t convinced 100% that ending my pregnancy was what I wanted. But after a visit to the doctor, and my doctor (a woman) telling me that I didn’t want to end up being another statistic by having a child and being a single black mother, she booked my appointment at a well known clinic, and I left feeling voiceless and confused. By the time my appointment arrived, I was so confused I went anyway because I didn’t want to be another statistic and I didn’t want to struggle like my mum so I thought that was the best decision, even though I regretted it after and sobbed until my my eyes were red. But even then my views on abortion were still the same, that was not my first rodeo, just the first time I actually wanted to keep it. I never saw it as murder, I was convinced that it wasn’t murder because it wasn’t actually a “baby” yet!

PSALMS 139:16 “YOU SAW ME BEFORE I WAS BORN. EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE WAS RECORDED IN YOUR BOOK. EVERY MOMENT WAS LAID OUT BEFORE A SINGLE DAY HAD PASSED.” How beautiful to know that God knew you before you were born, He knew everything that you would do in your life before you lived out your first day! How intentional He was when he formed you in your mothers womb! If God thought about everyone of us so intently, from the moment we are conceived we are important, we already have purpose, and we are known by God so we are “somebody”, we have a soul! The world will convince you that we are just an embryo that has no feeling or importance, but that is a lie from the enemy!

JEREMIAH 1:5 “I KNEW YOU BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN YOUR MOTHER’S WOMB. BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I SET YOU APART AND APPOINTED YOU AS MY PROPHET TO THE NATIONS.” When God called on Jeremiah, he thought that he wasn’t ready for such a calling, he thought he was too young. But God told him that He had a plan for his life, He knew him before he was born, He formed him in his mother’s womb!! His message isn’t just for Jeremiah, but can be for all of us! God has plans for everyone of us, and it starts before He forms us in the womb. To say we don’t hold any importance is a lie, because to God we are important at all stages! Abortion is definitely a sin! When you are aligned with God’s will you see everything differently, what grieves Him, grieves you. I read someone say that because abortion wasn’t mentioned in the bible how could it be a sin? PROVERBS 16:4 “THE LORD HAS MADE EVERYTHING FOR ITS PURPOSE, EVEN THE WICKED FOR THE DAY OF TROUBLE.”

What I have learnt on my walk is that this is not my home, this fallen world, I have become an alien in. What seems wise to the world is foolish to God. When we don’t know God we will always choose ourselves and what feels right to us over God’s truth. Satan’s plan is to destroy us, and we give him the power to when we don’t submit to God and His perfect way. Satan is the father of lies, this world belongs to him. When you listen to people who reason for abortion it’s just a reminder of how far away we are from God. I can’t even be angry as I was once a lost soul, I didn’t know God, I didn’t know truth! In this generation sex has become so casual, it’s become cheap and unimportant. People have casual hook ups and are not bothered because they know that if they become pregnant they have “options.” Children are having children because the culture is teaching them about sex. Even in the worst situation a woman may find herself in, having a baby as a result still can be positive because you don’t know who that child will become, you don’t know God’s plan even in the worst scenario. Even still there are always other options like adoption. People have become so detached and dehumanised about what abortion is, it makes me sad. JEREMIAH 29:11 “FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU,” SAYS THE LORD. “THEY ARE PLANS FOR GOOD AND NOT FOR DISASTER, TO GIVE YOU A FUTURE AND A HOPE.”

To the people that don’t know God, I understand why you will always make those decisions and choose the love of self over the love of God. But to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who I have heard say that abortion should be a choice given to a woman, even though you would not make the same choice for yourself, I ask you to really think about that and why that is. Don’t become a compromised Christian, read your bible and spend alone time with your Father in heaven. Make sure your relationship is where it should be, don’t let the culture infect you with lies, until you can not discern what is truth! The scripture that has really resided in me this month is this, ROMANS 12:2 “DON’T COPY THE BEHAVIOR AND CUSTOMS OF THIS WORLD, BUT LET GOD TRANSFORM YOU INTO A NEW PERSON BY CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK. THEN YOU WILL LEARN TO KNOW GOD’S WILL FOR YOU, WHICH IS GOOD AND PLEASING AND PERFECT.” It’s so easy to be swayed by the majority, going against the grain is difficult. Having a conversation such as this with someone who is strongly for abortion will not make you any new friends. That’s ok because we already know that the world will not love us because we love Christ! But stay strong in God’s love and don’t let the world and what it stands for grind you down, stay convicted in truth! Talk to people in love about these difficult topics, you won’t win everybody over, but you will make some think about what they really believe, and if you can do that God will take care of the rest.