WHERE IS THE LOVE?

No, I am not talking about the song by the Black Eyed Peas, I am genuinely asking the church, where is the love? It has been a struggle! I know this might sound trivial to some of you seasoned Christians, but I have been finding this season very disheartening. I have been on what seems like a rollacosta when it comes to church. Since parting ways with my old church, it has been eye-opening to see what is going on in other places. I know in my last post I had said that I had found a church, but I think I may have been too quick in making that decision. I think in my desperation to just find myself settled somewhere, I choose too quickly. It was so refreshing to go to a church that was unapologetically proclaiming Jesus and the importance of living holy. I didn’t even realise how thirsty my spirit was for that message! I didn’t hesitate to sign my name up. But, I quickly learnt that even though the word being preached is important, it’s not the only thing I needed.

After attending that church for over a month, I found that the people were not that friendly or warm. I couldn’t feel the love of Jesus reflecting from the congregation. I know that may sound harsh, but as someone new attending the church, not many people would talk to me. Other than the pastor and his wife, only one person had gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed. After service, the pastor always tells people to stay for tea’s and coffee and fellowship. But if my friend, who had invited me to that church, wasn’t there, I would find myself sitting alone. I have never been a shy recluse scared to talk to people I don’t know. I talk to everyone! I love meeting new people. But this was different. I found people to just go off in their groups and chat amongst themselves. Even when passing by them, trying to see if anyone would open themselves up to engage with me, I was just met with a polite smile as they continued on in their groups. This made me feel so lonely. I found myself going to church because I didn’t want to get out of the habit that I had for the last 6 years. I was no longer excited in the same way I used to be. I felt like a child going to school because they had to, not because they wanted to. That made me feel sad.

I remember when I first attended my old church, the welcome I received was what kept me coming back at first. The love and care they showed to me, a stranger, felt like being accepted into a family after being an orphan all your life. It wasn’t just from the leadership. It was everyone! People went out of their way to talk to you because they knew they had not seen you before. There was a genuine feeling of a desire to connect. Because of this welcome, which was the culture of that church, I learned to do the same because that was all I knew. I assumed that was the way of church! I was wrong. I realise that I need a church with a solid word and the love of Jesus. I can’t have one without the other. Unfortunately, the church I thought would be my new home is lacking in what I need, so back to the drawing board I go. Although I haven’t run out of churches to visit in my area, it is becoming disheartening. Attending churches that I see are very off in what they teach; it feels like I am gonna run out of churches, finding myself in the same position.

1 TIMOTHY 4:12 ” DON’T LET ANYONE THINK LESS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG. BE AN EXAMPLE TO ALL BELIEVERS IN WHAT YOU SAY, IN THE WAY YOU LIVE, IN YOUR LOVE, YOUR FAITH, AND YOUR PURITY.” On Sunday, I visited a church that reminded me of this scripture. The preacher started off well in his message but then lost me when he said that reading your bible at home doesn’t build your faith, only hearing the word, meaning only by coming to church on a sunday to listen to your preacher will you increase your faith. Safe to say, I won’t be back there again, but being a mature Christian means being able to discern what is good from what is bad. So, I threw away the bad and kept what was good from that message. I think the body of Christ may have forgotten how to love. In a world where the love of man runs cold, sometimes the culture of the times we live in seeps into the church. I know that this doesn’t apply to the whole body of Christ, but no matter how small a group is, it’s still too much. Sometimes showing love to others, especially others that may not be living the way you think is right can seem like affirmation of a life that is opposed to God, but even Jesus showed love to those who lived a life opposed to God. He gave them truth in love, not out of condemnation. His love for them didn’t affirm their behaviour. It was meant to expose the darkness within them by showing them the light. We are meant to be an example of that kind of love. So if someone walks into your church, you should rejoice and seek to know who they are and discern why God has brought them there. We can’t forget that we are workers among the harvest.

I never liked the idea of attending mega churches because I always thought that too many people would affect how you connect in that environment. But I have learnt that even the smaller churches can create a feeling of disconnect. I have learnt so much about myself and what kind of church goer I am. It has felt like I am creating a checklist of wants and needs when it comes to finding a church. I know that God is pruning me in this season, and I am learning about what it means to walk with God even when my life isn’t wrapped up in serving my church and community. I realised that the way I was serving in my old church was subconsciously becoming like a way of working my way into heaven. I don’t think I would have ever realised that until it was taken away. It left me questioning my identity and what it meant to even be a believer. For the first time, I felt like I had lost my purpose in life. I work for a secular company, and I work shifts, which take up a lot of my time. So, when I was throwing myself into my church, I felt like that was the only way I could do work to build the kingdom of God here on earth. This is why God takes the bad things that happen in your life and turns it for good for those who love Him. Because, leaving my church felt like the worst thing that could ever happen a few months ago, but now I see what He is doing for me and how he is using this experience to shape me and build my faith.

ROMANS 12:1 “AND SO, DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I PLEAD WITH YOU TO GIVE YOUR BODIES TO GOD BECAUSE OF ALL HE HAS DONE FOR YOU. LET THEM BE A LIVING AND HOLY SACRIFICE-THE KIND HE WILL FIND ACCEPTABLE. THIS IS TRULY THE WAY TO WORSHIP HIM.” Sundays for the past 6 years have been an important part of my worship. Leading worship was a big part of who I was. But when God said it was time to leave these things, I obeyed but felt lost and unsure of what my worship actually meant to God. I forgot that it was more than a Sunday and more than a song. He has reminded me that how I live and conduct myself every day is worship to Him. Just because I don’t have a church right now doesn’t mean I don’t worship God. It’s so funny how you can misplace what is really important in your walk with God and get caught up in the details. Although I long to feel part of community and find a church to call home, the most important part of all is how I live everyday, because church or no church I will always be an ambassador of Jesus Christ, and that is everything.

As I continue on this path to find my community, I want to encourage you if you are in the same season as me. Please don’t give up your search, but don’t forget that being a Christian is more than just attending church on a Sunday. It is life every day. If you are fortunate to be a part of a local body, I encourage you to approach the new face at your church, lead with love because it makes all the difference. I want to end this post with scripture from 1 Corinthians. This scripture has been jumping out at me of late, and it’s a good reminder that without love, it’s all worthless. Your church can have the best preachers on a sunday, the best worship, great kids work, and packed seats, but without love, it means nothing!

1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-3 “IF I COULD SPEAK ALL THE LANGUAGES OF EARTH AND OF ANGELS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD ONLY BE A NOISY GONG OR A CLANGING CYMBAL. IF I HAD THE GIFT OF PROPHECY, AND IF I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF GOD’S SECRET PLANS AND POSSESSED ALL KNOWLEDGE, AND IF I HAD SUCH FAITH THAT I COULD MOVE MOUNTAINS, BUT DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD BE NOTHING. IF I GAVE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO THE POOR AND EVEN SACRIFICED MY BODY, I COULD BOAST ABOUT IT; BUT IF I DIDN’T LOVE OTHERS, I WOULD HAVE GAINED NOTHING.”

NOT ME, BUT GOD!

It’s been a strange season. I am a creature of habit, so the recent changes have left me feeling unsettled at times, not knowing my place or where I fit. It’s in the season of uncertainty that the temptation to be a lone wolf creeps in. The desire to govern yourself and trick yourself into believing that it’s you and God against the world, that you can trust yourself, because trusting others may have left you disheartened and hurt. That place is dangerous! That place can lead you back to the grave, the same grave that Jesus called you out of. It’s crazy how our flesh can talk us back into a life that is far from God. Our sin is like muscle memory. It can convert back to what it remembers. Although I have not revereted back to my past life, I can see how it can be so easy, and that to me is scary!

I am grateful to God that He has found me a new church home. I spent some time trying not to tie myself down so soon to a new church, but then realised I was a one church kind of girl, and church hopping wasn’t for me. The title of this post comes curtesy of my new pastor and a message he preached a couple of weeks ago. It got me thinking about how we can walk so close to God and then live a life like we never knew him. I didn’t believe that could be possible, at least not for me. But I have learned how circumstances can draw you to a place that you never thought was possible. It’s then that I am reminded that every day we wake up, we have to choose to follow Christ! We decide to die to ourselves and pick up our cross daily. Sometimes, I think we can take for granted that we are secure in God because we once professed Jesus Christ as our Lord and saviour. We see it often when we look to people who are popular, who in one sentence say they are Christian, but when you look at their life, it is not a reflection of Christ who died for us. Unfortunately, these are the people that the world looks to as an example of Christianity.

The bible speaks about turning back to our old ways and how bad of a state it leaves us in. The saying of when you know better you do better seems to be null and void. This is why when Jesus saves you, He doesn’t save you and leave you to fend for yourself in the wilderness. That would be cruel, and we serve a kind God. Instead, He saves you and adds you to the body, which He is the head. He adopts you into His family of believers and gives you new life and purpose. This is why being a part of the body of Christ (the church) is so important. EPHESIANS 1:5 “GOD DECIDED IN ADVANCE TO ADOPT US INTO HIS OWN FAMILY BY BRINGING US TO HIMSELF THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. THAT IS WHAT HE WANTED TO DO, AND IT GAVE HIM GREAT PLEASURE.” It’s the family of believers through the Holy Spirit who show us when we are off the righteous path. When we take ourselves away from the body of Christ and decide to trust ourselves, that’s when the serpent slithers close, whispering false truths in our ear. Then we start to make excuses for why something that we once believed was wrong, now starts to seem right.

2 PETER 2:20 “AND WHEN PEOPLE ESCAPE FROM THE WICKEDNESS OF THE WORLD BY KNOWING OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST AND THEN GET TANGLED UP AND ENSLAVED BY SIN AGAIN, THEY ARE WORSE OFF THAN BEFORE.” It’s a slippery slope that any one of us can find ourselves on. I have seen people make excuses for unholy living when God requires us to be holy because He is holy. They stop listening to Godly advice because it’s not what their flesh wants. We don’t even realise that it’s not the Spirit that we are living by. We don’t even realise when the flesh takes over. That’s what happens when you think you can live this life outside of the body of believers. Being doers of the word is what sets us apart from the world. It’s the foundation we build our lives upon that sets us up for success. My pastor reminded me that if you are not building your life on the word of God, given to us by the prophets and the apostles with Christ as the cornerstone, then all else is sinking sand.

MATTHEW 7:24 “ANYONE WHO LISTENS TO MY TEACHINGS AND FOLLOWS IT IS WISE, LIKE A PERSON WHO BUILDS A HOUSE ON SOLID ROCK.”

Life will bring you through different seasons. Some seasons will be still and filled with peace, while others will feel turbulent and dark. It’s in the stormy seasons we realise whether we built our house on the rock or the sand. This season, for me, has been a test. If I had built my foundation on sand, I know for a fact that I would have probably not committed myself to church again. I know that I would have felt like I would have been better off without it. I would have created my own version of Jesus, who is so filled with love that I wouldn’t have to set myself apart, and live a holy and righteous life, because God is so forgiving and takes me as I am. I would have easily forgotten that God’s love language is obedience, and made my relationship about how God serves me, and how I don’t have to do anything but just believe in God and acknowledge Jesus. And because of this false Jesus I would have created in my head, I would have found myself back in the grave, enslaved once again by sin. This, my friends, is one of many schemes of the enemy, who has many professing Christians deceived. 1 CORINTHIANS 3:18 “STOP DECEIVING YOURSELVES. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE WISE BY THIS WORLD’S STANDARDS, YOU NEED TO BECOME A FOOL TO BE TRULY WISE.”

When you start to believe that you know best and trust in yourself, it brings disaster. That is what happens when you take Jesus off the throne of your life and put yourself up there instead. Submission is a dirty word in culture today, but submission is necessary in our walk with Christ. Being a part of a church does mean you are submitting to church authority. If you live life picking and choosing what you are obedient to when it comes to your walk with Christ, then being a part of a church will never seem appealing, and if you have church hurt it is worse! But even the early churchs of the New Testament had to submit to the authority of the apostles. God placed them in their positons just as He has placed the leaders of today. Today, he tells us to test the spirits and warns us of the many false prophets and teachers that have been sent out to deceive us. Today is when we need our descernment more than ever before!

Going back to my original thoughts that brought about this post, I was reminded of the story of Lazarus. Jesus loved Lazarus, but when news reached Him that His friend was sick, Jesus decided not to go and see him immediately, resulting in the death of Lazarus. When Jesus arrived at the town to see Lazarus, Lazarus had been dead in the tomb for four days. There was no denying at that point that Lazarus was dead, for his body had started to decompose. It would only take a miracle from God to change his circumstance. So when Jesus visited the tomb of Lazarus and called him out, He did what only God could have made possible. And when Lazarus walked out of his tomb, once a decomposing body, now living and breathing, there was no denying the power and glory of God and the authority of Jesus! Lazarus couldn’t ressurect himself. It was only the power of God who could take him out of the grave. I thought about how we can find ourselves like Lazarus. We can be dead in our transgressions, our sin the stench of rotting flesh to God. We can be dead for so long that it would seem impossible that our circumstances could change. People around us may give up hope and think it is impossible for us to change. God reminded me that nothing is impossible for Him! If we find ourselves back in the grave, although it may be hard, nothing is too hard for God, and He already paid the price for us with His blood.

I thought about how easy it could be to fall back into old habits, I thought about how weak I am without God. How I have no power without His power. It’s not by my own strength that I walk this path, but by His strength! Not me, but God! It’s easy to become puffed up and put yourself at the centre. So many have fallen because of pride. I was reminded that humility was the key to keeping Jesus at the centre of your heart. Because when you realise that everything else is sinking sand without Him, that’s when He sits on the throne of your life, and nothing, I mean nothing, can separate you from His love!

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE.

Please excuse the impromptu hiatus. It really wasn’t planned. All I can say is that September was a busy month. I spent the month celebrating another year that God has graciously granted me. I took a solo trip to Paris and had an encounter with the presence of God that was so transformative, that I needed the rest of the month to sit in what He taught me, so I had nothing to talk about (for once). That’s not to say there hasn’t been anything to talk about. The world is still dark and destructive. But God is still and will always be good, so I wanted to just ponder that for a while. Like I said, there is a lot going on in this world, and it reminded me of my journey, my walk with God, the fight to keep my faith in a world that seeks to destroy it. This idea that we are taking part in a race, but not a race to get to first or even second or third place, but to just make it to the finish line made me think of marathon runners. I thought about how they train for their chosen race, whether 5k,10k, or even a half-marathon. They train for up to one year, depending on their fitness levels or experience. Marathon runners never just sign up to run without training first. Ultimately, the goal of a marathon runner is to just finish the race! This, to me, is what it is like to be a Christian. We are running this race (or walking with God) to make it to the finish line, which is where Jesus is waiting to hand us our heavenly prize.

We read the word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us, making us more like Jesus. This is how we train to run our race. The longer we spend training in the word, strengthening our faith, the more endurance we build up to run this race. This race is not about coming first place. This is about making it to the finish line! I remember when I first gave my life to Jesus five years ago. I had so much fire and zeal, I am sure I took off at the start of my marathon like I was Usain Bolt, looking back at weary runners wondering why they were so slow. But as I kept running, I started to realise this wasn’t a race to first place, but a race to make it to the end. I realised that I would burn out quickly if I didn’t change the way I ran, so I made endurance my priority. MATTHEW 24:13 “BUT THE ONE WHO ENDURES TO THE END WILL BE SAVED.”

Enduring to the end simply means to remain firm in your commitment to God, to be obedient to him despite temptation, opposition, and adversity. Let’s be clear, all runners will be tempted to quit the race before the end. Many will do just that because it will seem easier. Some people might decide to take a break from running, promising to rejoin the race at a later date, which is dangerous because once you stop running you lose your momentum and find it hard to pick up where you left off. GALATIONS 5:7 “YOU WERE RUNNING WELL. WHO HINDERED YOU FROM OBEYING THE TRUTH?” And then there are the runners that run slow but keep a steady pace, these are the ones that make it to the end, these are the ones who have trained and sacrificed their time preparing for the endurance needed to receive their prize. 2 TIMOTHY 4:7 “I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, I HAVE FINISHED THE RACE, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH.”

PHILLIPIANS 3:12-14 “I DON’T MEAN TO SAY THAT I HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED THESE THINGS OR THAT I HAVE ALREADY REACHED PERFECTION. BUT I PRESS ON TO POSSESS THAT PERFECTION FOR WHICH CHRIST JESUS FIRST POSSESSED ME. NO, DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I HAVE NOT ACHIEVED IT, BUT I FOCUS ON THIS ONE THING: FORGETTING THE PAST AND LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT LIES AHEAD, I PRESS ON TO REACH THE END OF THE RACE AND RECEIVE THE HEAVENLY PRIZE FOR WHICH GOD, THROUGH JESUS CHRIST, IS CALLING US.”

There is something about Paul talking about his imperfection and his drive to continue and to press on, looking ahead only, that I find encouraging. Paul, who knew he was not worthy for all he had done to persecute the church before he encountered Jesus, walked in a humbleness that I Iong to possess. The fact that this great man of God, whose letters we gleam from today and forever, always eluding to himself being a work in progress, is something we should all take courage from. Forgetting the past and looking forward can sometimes be the hardest part of our journeys. It’s the past that often keeps us bound from moving forward. In a world that is constantly throwing things in our paths to keep us from receiving our prize, paul tells us to press on. I imagine a strong wind working against us as we push forward, teeth gritted, determined to make it through.

The grace of God is so important as we run our marathons. Things happen in life to test us, and we are not always successful. This is what makes us all imperfect beings. But the real test of faith is what we do after we stumble or fall. Do we decide that the race is impossible and sit it out? Or do we get back up, dust off our knees, and continue on, even if our pace is slower than when we first began? It’s like when you watch a race and you see a runner take a fall and injure themself. You think that’s it, they are finished! But you see the fight in their eyes, the determination to cross that line sparks something in them that can seem somewhat supernatural at times, because even though they may no longer be able to run, they press on anyway, limping their way to the end. And as they approach the finish line, you often see their running mates swoop in to support them at the last 20 feet of the race. In that moment, it’s not about how long it took them to complete the race. In that moment, it’s about making it to the end when it seemed impossible, finding strength you didn’t know you had, not giving up!

This walk can be challenging, but that’s life. Life is a challenge. What sets someone that places their faith in Jesus apart from everyone else is that although life has it’s challenges, we do not go through lifes challenges alone. We have help, a hand to hold. We have a God who provides what we need. Don’t let your imperfections keep you from being perfected. If you stumble, let God lift you back up and keep going. Don’t look back on the past. Keep your eyes fixed on what lies ahead! Keep the word of God close to your heart. If your faith is wavering, it’s because you need to spend more time with Him in His word. His word is the key to endurance! As a brother or sister in Christ, we are called to gently and humbly help others who may be struggling to stay the course. Support each other when you see they need help. Don’t look at them as less than because their faith is weak or they are not as mature as you, walk alongside them, love them. We are one body working together with Christ at the head. Let’s start opperating as that. Every part of the body is just as important and is needed, so in a world where the love of man is growing cold, let’s show what the love of Jesus looks like so we can be the light and salt of the earth God calls us to be. JAMES 1:12 “BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO REMAINS STEADFAST UNDER TRIAL, FOR WHEN HE HAS STOOD THE TEST HE WILL RECEIVE THE CROWN OF LIFE, WHICH GOD HAS PROMISED TO THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.”

FEED MY SHEEP.

I’ve been thinking of different ways to approach this topic that has been on my heart. It has taken me this long to formulate my words and my thoughts. This will be a short read, and I am sure this won’t be the only time I talk about this. But my heart has been grieved of late, so much has been happening on a global scale and in my little world. It has been hard to talk about it in a way that doesn’t cause offence to others. I don’t pretend to even know what it takes to be in a position where you are shepherding God’s flock, so please, if God has placed you in that position, please don’t receive what I say as arrogance or that I think I know everything, because that is not true. I know nothing. I don’t know what it takes to be in such a position, and to be honest, I would never want to know because that is not my calling. But what I do have, which is a gift from God, is spiritual descernment, and I see things before others see things at times.

I love being a part of a community, I love fellowship with my brothers and sisters, and I love church. I know not many people can say that because of things that may have been experienced being apart of the body of believers, and although my journey with others hasn’t always been smooth sailing, I have been hurt by people many times already. But I am mature enough to know that the actions of others aren’t a reflection of the God I love and serve, but an accurate reflection of man’s ability to be weak in flesh. This is why we need Jesus! The Good out weighs the bad, and experiences that aren’t pleasant will not turn me away from serving others. But, I can say that from a place of spiritual maturity. It’s to be expected that when we gather together at church, it is filled with believers at different stages of their faith, some new, some old, some unsure. But coming together and doing life together, we are meant to walk with each other, helping others to become more mature in faith. Church is meant to be a place where we can get fed, where we are helped, and given the tools meant to make us more mature in spirit. Yes, we have a responsibilty to ourselves to feed and cultivate our faith because in the end when we stand before God, we will have to answer for our lives and all that we did with it, and we will not be able to blame a soul for our lack. But God has given us people to guide and teach us. This is why church is so important.

When I became a Christian at the end of 2019, my coming to faith was a direct result of the power of the Word of God! In me reading the bible diligently everyday for a month, well it was more like 4hrs of bible study everyday, my mind was being renewed without me even realising what was happening, because I never intended to find God reading the bible, my intention was to prove God wrong instead. I didn’t start out in church. It was just me and my friend doing bible study every day over the phone because we lived in different countries. I became spiritually mature very quickly because I let the word of God renew my mind and build my faith. ROMANS 10:17 “SO FAITH COMES FROM HEARING, AND HEARING THROUGH THE WORD OF CHRIST.” My story was different. We were in a time (the pandemic) where there was nothing to do because the world had shut down. Now, the world is very much open, and many will not have the time I did to do what I did. So people come to church when they want to explore and find out who God is. This is why the church is so important.

The church has a responsibility to feed and help you to become spiritually mature. But that doesn’t seem to be the goal amongst (some) churches today. It seems that they are more and more becoming consumed with numbers in seats and making money. Although those things are not inherently bad, if that becomes the main focus rather than genuine conversion to Christ, there may be a problem. Having a packed out church may make you feel good and stroke your ego as a leader, but what good is it if it is not cultivating a relationship with Jesus? If people are attending week after week, and month after month, but still can’t tell you who Jesus is, or they have no conviction in their heart that they are living away from God, then it’s quite possible you have created a feel good centre instead of a church! You don’t want to give the people attending the truth, in case you lose butts on chairs. Or worst still, you don’t think the word is sufficient enough because you don’t think the people attending the church can handle the truth, so you make it more palatable? HOW DARE YOU!! HEBREWS 4:12 “FOR THE WORD OF GOD IS ALIVE AND POWERFUL. IT IS SHARPER THAN THE SHARPEST TWO-EDGED SWORD, CUTTING BETWEEN SOUL AND SPIRIT, BETWEEN JOINT AND MARROW. IT EXPOSES OUR INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND DESIRES.”

You can think of all the amazing ways to fill your church, but it is all for nothing if it is not centred on the Word of God. Jesus has to always be at the centre of it all. It doesn’t matter if fewer people attend because they can’t handle the unfiltered Word of God. If the truth hardens their heart, then they were never chosen. It is God who does the growing of faith. It is the Holy Spirit who brings people into the revelation of Jesus, not us. We are but vessels that are called to be obedient and share the good news. The people who are meant to respond will do just that!

Jesus asked Peter three times to feed my sheep. Peter, who Jesus made the rock on, which the church was built. He wanted the flock to be attended to, to be brought into spiritual maturity so that they could go on and carry out the task of making disciples. That is still the same for churches today. You can’t expect the flock to become spiritually mature if you withhold the only thing that will bring them into full maturity! 2 TIMOTHY 3:16 “ALL SCRIPTURE IS BREATHED OUT BY GOD AND PROFITABLE FOR TEACHING, FOR REPROOF, FOR CORRECTION, AND FOR TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS,” notice it doesn’t say to entertain, make you feel good, or tell you what you want to hear. Everything about it makes us reflect on ourselves, search our hearts, and most importantly, turn away from our own desires to carry out the desires of our Father in heaven. It helps us to become righteous!

I think you get my point, so I am gonna wrap this up. This isn’t every church. There are many good churches out there. But it’s a slippery slope, and it is definitely something we need to keep watch from entering our churches. Many are falling away because of it. Leaders, you have a great responsibility. Many souls are under your watch and care. I pray that you will do well in your calling, for not only do our lives depend on it, but your life depends on it also. God bless you all.

HEALING VS GOD’S PLAN.

Is it me, or are the months flying by before our eyes? May has been such a busy month. Most of it was spent in the USA with family, so this post is coming in just in the nick of time! The topic of conversation is something that I have been wanting to talk about on this blog ever since I heard the news of a beauty influencer, by the name of Jessica Pettway who passed away in March due to a misdiagnosis of fibroids. She was someone I had watched and followed over the years, but ever since I went on a somewhat permanent social media hiatus, I had been out of the loop and missed that she was even sick. So when I saw the news that this 36 year old had passed away leaving behind her husband and two young children, my spirit was disturbed, and I couldn’t shake this sadness. I learned that she was a Christian, and during her cervical cancer diagnosis, she had made public videos declaring that she believed that God would heal her and this would be part of her testimony. Sadly to say that wasn’t the case. The more I thought about it, the more disturbed I became. I thought to myself, what does something like this do to someone’s faith? I have no doubt she prayed with her family for healing, and others prayed for her. The bible says that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Jesus even said that if we pray for anything and believe we’ve received it, it will be ours!(Mark 11:24)

So if we pray for healing and don’t receive it, what does that mean? I thought about non-believers who would have followed her and seen her faith despite her diagnosis. I am sure they would have been inspired by her courage, maybe even pursuaded to believe in her God. What would they think about God now that she was gone? I struggled to make it make sense as a believer! But even in my disappointment and sadness for her and her family, I was 100% certain that God was still good! I just didn’t know how to explain it to someone, and that bothered me. Nobody even asked me or challenged me about it, but I knew that if I was ever in a situation where I still had to explain the goodness of God through tragedy, I would have found it hard to, and I am always reminded of the need to be able to explain the reason for the hope that I have.

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I was then reminded of my mum, who has suffered from rheumatoid arthritis which is a long-term condition that causes pain, swelling, and stiffness in the joints. As she gets older, the pain seems to be more intense, leaving her at times unable to attend to herself without assistance. I remember when she first became a Christian. I think she thought that she would not suffer and God would heal her. But as time went on and her pain intensified, she began to question God’s goodness. She didn’t even have to say it, I knew she felt it. It was almost as if she believed that God was punishing her, or worse, that God didn’t care for her like He did for others. I didn’t blame her for thinking that. If you don’t understand who God is, you won’t see Him as a good God when you go through your trials. The bible doesn’t say that life will be perfect when you accept Jesus into your heart. We live in a fallen world under the influence of the evil one. All you have to do is turn on the news or scroll social media to see the injustice in this world. But what the bible does promise is eternal life and peace. A peace unlike the peace given from the world. This peace that comes from Jesus is the peace that keeps us afloat in a turbulent sea. JOHN 14:27 “PEACE I LEAVE WITH YOU; MY PEACE I GIVE TO YOU. NOT AS THE WORLD GIVES DO I GIVE TO YOU. LET NOT YOUR HEARTS BE TROUBLED, NEITHER LET THEM BE AFRAID.”

I asked my pastor what he thought about it, and he directed me to Job from the bible. Job was a man said to be blameless in the eyes of God, a man of complete integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil. God had blessed him with a large family. He was the richest man in his entire area, yet he still gave offerings to God. He never let money corrupt his heart. Then, one day, Satan came before God and challenged Jobs character, claiming the only reason why he feared God was because of all that he had. If God took it away, then Job would curse God. So God allowed Satan to test him, with only one condition, that Satan was not allowed to harm him physically, but he had free reign to do whatever he wanted with whatever he possessed. Of course, Satan did his worst to Job, killing all his children and taking away his riches by killing his livestock, farmhands, and servants. In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God, instead he fell to the ground in worship and said JOB 1:21 HE SAID, “I CAME NAKED FROM MY MOTHER’S WOMB, AND I WILL BE NAKED WHEN I LEAVE. THE LORD GAVE ME WHAT I HAD, AND THE LORD HAS TAKEN IT AWAY. PRAISE THE NAME OF THE LORD!” It was clear that Job understood who God was. Then I started to think about if I understood who God was, could I have that same conviction as Job?

I’ve always heard that it’s never good to plan too far ahead because God might suprise you. God’s plan for your life might not always be in line with what you plan for your life. We can pray for a long, fruitful life here on earth, but that is not guaranteed. Sometimes we forget that we are here for a short time, this world is not our home. Our assurance comes from knowing Jesus and the promise of eternal life for all who believe. If God takes us back to Him early, could that mean that our work here on earth is finished, or are we to take it as punishment? Job remembered that everything he had, God had given him. Even in his grief, he still knew the goodness of God. Ultimately, as a believer, we want to submit to our Fathers will. His way is always better, even if we can not see it at the time.

I started to think about what life actually meant to me. How attached I was to the things I knew and the routine of my life. If I got sick and God didn’t heal me, would I curse God or praise Him anyway? Then I started to think about my life before I knew Jesus. How everything was dark and meaningless. If I had been sick then. Never knowing Jesus. Dying in my sin. Forever separated from the Father! I felt a wave of fear and dread come over me. I realised that God will always be good because He called me to Him, and He chose me. He saved me from death. Jesus paid the price I couldn’t by shedding His blood for me. He has given me more than I could have ever dreamed of by that one act alone! For that reason, God will always be good! If I get sick tomorrow, God is good. If I lose a loved one, God is good. If I lose my job, God is good. If I lose my home, God is good. GOD. IS. GOOD. PSALMS 34:8″OH, TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD; BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN HIM!”

If you are a believer, death is not bad. It’s the people that you leave behind that suffer the most. But the comfort we have is knowing that we will not be separated from them forever. It is just a short time. If we are still here on this earth, that means that we have an assignment to complete, and we have a purpose. Going home to be with the Lord is exactly that; going home to a place that Jesus prepared for you. How beautiful to know that is what awaits you. How comforting for a family like The Pettways who are left behind. Maybe they might not see it now because the grief is still raw, and we that are left behind have to sort through life and find a new normal without the ones we’ve lost. But I pray that they find the peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray that they draw closer to God PSALMS 34:18 “THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND HE SAVES THOSE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.”

Through the good times and the bad times, God will forever remain good. Whatever you suffer through now, whether it’s sickness or struggling financially, whatever your trial is, just know that it will not be forever. When we enter into heaven, there will be no sickness, no tears, no pain, just joy! Our riches await us in heaven, so keep your eyes focused on things from above! My wish is to be like Job. Someone who, when grief, knocks at my door, I will fall to my face and declare through tears, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. PRAISE THE NAME OF THE LORD!”

GRATITUDE.

It feels like we are flying through the year. It’s March already! This is the month where we celebrate what Jesus did on the cross for us. I chose to call this months post “gratitude” because sometimes I think we can easily forget the magnitude of the cross and what it meant to have Jesus defeat death. As followers of Christ, we sometimes get caught up in the cycle of life; looking after the family, working but never feeling like it’s enough, making sure the kids get to school on time, wondering why the cost of groceries keep going up but your money stays the same. So many things can weigh us down, and we forget about the power of the cross! We start to complain about life being hard, how everything is bad, bad, bad! We come to church on Sunday feeling the stress of the week, singing the worship songs on auto pilot, and trying hard to listen to the message given and resonate with the words spoken. We stop living like we believe God because life is just too hard!

Well, I am here to tell you that life is hard! In fact, Jesus never said following Him would be easy. The bible tells us that there will be trials and tribulations that we must endure to the end! Even Psalms 23 tells us that we will walk through the valley of the shadow of death! What sets us apart from the rest of the world is that we don’t walk through times of danger, scarcity, and the unknown alone, for God is with us! He is the cloud by day and the fire by night, and He goes before us and follows us. Because of God’s love for us, we don’t need to fear or be weighed down with anxiety because life is hard. Our strength to endure comes from the Lord.

Sometimes, we can be guilty of thinking too much about what we don’t have, feeling like we are being punished because the desires of our hearts have not been met. We complain, and we obsess about what we feel we lack, and we forget about what we already have, the best gift of all; salvation! We complain so much that we become ungrateful. We act like spoilt kids when we don’t get our way. What saddens me is that we have become entitled when we don’t even deserve all that God has sacrificed for us! God gave us His one and only begotten son as payment for our sins. Jesus knowingly gave His life as a ransom for us. He chose to die a horrific death because He knew that was the only way we could ever have a relationship with God. God gave us the ultimate sacrifice, and here we moan when we don’t get what we want! God doesn’t have to do another thing for us! He has done enough already, but he still blesses us, even though we are ungrateful, because we serve a good God who loves us like no other!

Often, we find ourselves walking a thin line between the standards of the world and the standards of God. We live in a world opposed to the message of the Gospel, and we can sometimes get drawn into what the culture tells us we should have, instead of what God wants us to have, the two can often be very different! PSALMS 37:25 “ONCE I WAS YOUNG, AND NOW I AM OLD. YET I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE GODLY ABANDONED OR THEIR CHILDREN BEGGING FOR BREAD.” This verse has stuck in my head of late, and I think it has been a powerful reminder that I have everything I need. I haven’t been anxious about anything in particular, but I think it’s verses like this that keep me humble and thankful. They remind me of how blessed I am! There was a point where the things I didn’t have became almost like an idol in my life. One of my desires was to have my own house, the idea of living alone became the most important thing, so important that I became sad when I saw others living the life I wanted, what I thought I deserved. I almost started to think that maybe God was punishing me because my dream felt unattainable. It made me ungrateful, and I stopped noticing all the ways God was blessing me in my life, I just took everything I had for granted. Then, one day, God revealed my heart to me, and I was repentant! Every morning, I opened my eyes to see a new day, and I was grateful. Every day, my body didn’t fail me in some way. I was grateful. Every day, I never had to worry about what I was gonna eat, I was grateful. Every time I never had to stress about my bills, I was grateful. Every night I went to bed, I knew I had a roof over my head, and I was grateful. All the things that seemed so small and insignificant, I knew somewhere out there someone else was not so blessed. When I realised what I had made an idol of, only served me, I felt selfish. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it’s bad to ask God to fulfil the desires of your heart, He pretty much tells us to ask, and we shall receive. But it becomes an issue when our hearts desires become a stumbling block for us. MATTHEW 6:33 “SEEK THE KINGDOM OF GOD ABOVE ALL ELSE, AND LIVE RIGHTEOUSLY, AND HE WILL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED.” Notice it say’s NEED, not want!

Since the begining of man we have been ungrateful, and it all started on that fateful day when Eve convinced her husband Adam to consume the only fruit forbidden to them, because she was conviced by the serpant that God was holding out on them, when the reality was God had given them Eden, He had given them everything! It really is in our nature to question the goodness of God, to be unsatisfied. But yet God still overlooks that part of us because of the depths of His love for us we will never comprehend! So He hatched a plan, a plan He already had in motion before the fruit was consumed by the man and woman in the garden. He knew the nature of man who He created, a flaw you may say, but it was the only way He could create us to exprience love, love that came from having the freedom to choose. So He honoured their choice to be separated from Him and banished Adam and Eve from Eden, cursing the land as punishment. From that point on, men grew evil and cold, murder tainted the land. But God watched on reaching out to those who still called on Him. Until the only God fearing man remained, and God instructed Noah to build an ark because the evilness that grew angered Him, and He saw that nobody but Noah and His family were righteous enough, so he plunged the earth back into the depths of the water He seperated it from. Starting again, the great reset.

As the land became dry and life began to spring from the ground, God made a promise with a rainbow to Noah, never to flood the earth again. As man once again populated the earth, so did evil. But God still remained faithful to those who were faithful to him, His chosen people Israel. But even Israel would fall into temptation time and time again, so God would choose people and raise them up to prophesy on His behalf. But still, Israel were hard headed and refused to listen. Then He sent them the law through Moses, a law that was meant to show them their sin, a law that they could never follow because of their nature, a law that was meant to bring them to repentance, but never did. All this setting the stage for His plan to save us from our sin, the plan from the beginning. Then, one day, a child was born, a virgin birth, concieved by the Spirit of God. Gods plan wrapped in flesh, His promise now a reality. The child named Jesus full of wisdom grew into a man, and this man filled with the Holy Spirit preached a message of repentence. He called on all who knew they were sinners, and He taught them about the Kingdom of God, about faith, hope, and love. He healed the sick, raised the dead, and freed the demon possessed. He was God incarnate. Come down from His mighty thrown to be a lowly servant to an ungrateful nation. He was the plan from the very beginning. He knew we would never be able to make ourselves right. We failed every test given, and we could never pay what was owed. So He chose to pay our debt for us. Jesus drank the cup that was given, and He gave His life on the cross, beaten, humiliated, disgraced, nailed to the wood born of a tree, a reminder of a tree that once produced fruit forbidden to man.

But death was not the end, Jesus defeated death, and on the third day, the tomb He was buried in was now empty! Jesus is alive! Sending out His disciples to spread the good news to all nations, He left us with the gift of the Holy Spirit in His absence, promising to return for His final judgement. Now that He paid our debt, we all recieve the free gift of God’s grace, and all we have to do is repent and accept Jesus Christ into our hearts as Lord and saviour, believing in the finished work of the cross. This is what reconciles us back to our father in heaven, and that is all He ever wanted, not to have us separated from Him. It’s the greatest love story ever told! And because I accepted Jesus, I get to be a part of that love story. Eternal life is something that I find hard to fathom, but it is mine, and it is worth more than gold! Salvation means we are being saved from something and that something is judgement, the wrath of God when Jesus returns. God never breaks a promise, so rest assured, judgement will come. The question is, where will you find yourself?

PHILIPPIANS 2:10-11 “SO THAT AT THE NAME OF JESUS EVERY KNEE WILL BOW- IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH AND UNDER THE EARTH- AND EVERY TONGUE WILL CONFESS THAT JESUS CHRIST IS LORD, TO THE GLORY OF GOD THE FATHER.”

So this is a friendly reminder that God has given you everything, He has given you Jesus! He has given you everything you need, and your treasures await you in heaven. So keep your eyes focused on things from above. Everything else is just noise. Tune it out. It will give you contentment when you have abundance and contentment when you lack. Be grateful because you are saved! And that is more important than anything on this earth. God bless you all, and Happy Ressurection Sunday.

SINGLE BUT NOT LONELY.

Since it’s the month of February, the month when us singles are reminded of our singleness, I thought, why not do a post about being single as a Christian. If you scroll back to my first year of blogging, I spoke about my celibacy and my desire to follow God and abstain. I had just grasped the importance of purity, and I was all in! Coming from a world that encourages sexual liberty and freedom, you can be sure I was waist deep init before the Lord saved me. So, for me to then decide to go cold turkey was a big deal, and cemented my faith because I was truly convicted that sex outside of marriage was wrong. I am happy to say I have never stumbled in that department, I still remain celibate on my journey. Speaking over the few years with other Christians, it’s been very interesting to see how they feel about dating and celibacy. It became very clear, very quickly, how not all were as convicted as me. Now, I understand that the desires of the flesh can be strong in this area, so it takes a strong will to live a life of celibacy when we live in a world where everything is overly sexualised. But God gives us this instruction for a reason, not because He hates us or doesn’t want us to have fun, but because He wants and knows what’s best for us! I definitely didn’t need convincing of this because I could look back at my promiscuity and see the damage it had done to me spiritually, not to mention physically. I could have avoided so much trauma and bad life decisions if I had only done it His way instead of my own, but you know what they say about hindsight!

I used to be the queen of online dating when I was in the world. I always wanted relationships and was on a constant pursuit of love. But because of the lack of value I had for myself, I found myself in situationships promising the boys sex in exchange for love, as the boys promised me love in exchange for sex. A very poor transaction that is still in circulation today. So of course, when I became a Christian, I still wanted a relationship but now I had to do it differently, so I joined up to the Christian dating sites thinking that it would be very different this time. Oh, was I wrong! There were a lot of non Christian “christians,” and a lot of guys were just looking for a “good” girl. When you have to start asking guys who Jesus is on a christian dating site, you know you have a problem. It all became very triggering, reminding me of my past life, and I felt like God say “leave online dating alone.”

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So here I was back to square one, wanting a relationship but being unsuccessful in finding one. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to find out what it meant to be in a relationship, a healthy God breathed relationship. It occurred to me that I had no idea! I still had a worldly view of what a relationship was, what a role of a husband and wife was, what marriage was! I had to go back to the word of God to see what He said about it. When I truly understood Gods view of marriage, I got scared and decided maybe marriage wasn’t for me! Just like we have to die to ourselves when it comes to the Lord, I realised I would have to do the same with my husband, and that made me uncomfortable. It seemed hard, and I couldn’t understand what I was getting out of it. The word “submit” kept creeping up, and the idea of it felt wrong! Submission wasn’t the bad guy, but my warped idea of submission was. The culture had defiled the word and its meaning. God showed me that being a Christian was centred around submission, and I had to submit to God first! And that was what I had committed to do. So, if I could submit to God, He also required me to submit to my husband. If I had a problem with that, I clearly still had some work to do when it came to submitting to my Father in heaven. I knew then that I had no business looking for a relationship until I got the most important relationship right first.

Sometimes, our desire to find a partner can almost become an idol in our lives. We become willing to throw wisdom aside in our impatience, forgetting that the Lord’s way and timing are always better. We become so consumed with no longer being single, no longer being treated like the sad spare wheel among our married friends that we stop listening to His voice, we stop including Him in the selection process in fear that He may turn away the only person that has shown us interest in what seems like forever. We start to entertain the wrong people, then find ourselves in compromising postions down the line, that all could of been avoided if we just trusted in the Lord our God and not leaned on our own understanding. GENESIS 2:18 THEN THE LORD GOD SAID, “IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE. I WILL MAKE A HELPER WHO IS JUST RIGHT FOR HIM.” God never wanted us to be alone. Finding someone to become one flesh with is the way God intended it. But in this evil world we live in, where satan is working overtime to draw us away from God, we have to be vigilant and don’t let our desires become more important than pleasing our Father.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-34 “I WANT YOU TO BE FREE FROM THE CONCERNS OF THIS LIFE. AN UNMARRIED MAN CAN SPEND HIS TIME DOING THE LORD’S WORK AND THINKING HOW TO PLEASE HIM. BUT A MARRIED MAN HAS TO THINK ABOUT HIS EARTHLY RESPONSIBILITIES AND HOW TO PLEASE HIS WIFE. HIS INTERESTS ARE DIVIDED. IN THE SAME WAY, A WOMAN WHO IS NO LONGER MARRIED OR HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED CAN BE DEVOTED TO THE LORD AND HOLY IN BODY AND IN SPIRIT. BUT A MARRIED WOMAN HAS TO THINK ABOUT HER EARTHLY RESPONSIBILITIES AND HOW TO PLEASE HER HUSBAND.”

Paul talks about singleness as being a gift. Not because he believes everyone should remain single, but because of the relationship singleness cultivates with God. Being single is a time we can grow in our faith, a time to get to know Jesus and understand who we are because of Him, all without the distractions that relationships bring. It’s a time to ground ourselves in Him and His word, a time to mature spiritually. When we become affirmed in Him, we start to date better. Why? Because we start to operate under His will instead of our own. We hunger to please Him, so we honour Him in our choices. Satan struggles to turn our heads because the Lord has our hearts. Bad relationships draw us away from God. Good relationships draw us closer to God. It’s like that one friend who, every time they get into a new relationship, you never hear from them again until they find themselves back to being single. That’s us when we are not grounded in God. When we marry, our priorities change. As the scripture says, we have earthly responsibilities. In the end, we are here to serve. God first, then each other. We sometimes get confused and become self-serving. Our flesh is constantly crying out to us to put ourselves first. But it’s the Holy Spirit that guides us away from ourselves. If we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in other areas of our lives, why not in our dating?

I know that when you get to a certain age, dating seems impossible. To be honest, I feel like I might have a calling to be single because at 41, my dating life is non existant. My desire has always been to find a husband, have the kids, and all the trimmings that come with it. This time of celibacy and growth in the Lord has renewed my mind on marriage, and now I feel more ready than ever to submit! I actually can not wait to find that man who I can wholly submit to because they wholly submit to God! They have to love the Lord and be willing to love me like Christ loved the church, I mean, He did die for the church. It doesn’t get much better than that! But at the same time, I am willing to wait on God, I don’t feel pressured. Even if a husband is not what God has for me, will I curse Him? will that make Him not good? of course not! God is good regardless because I have eternal life in His son Jesus! It would only mean that God wants me undistracted because I have kingdom work to do. I can still find joy in that!

So, am I lonely? The answer, in short, is no. When I was in the world, I felt the seasons of loneliness, the longing for someone to love me. It was an intense sadness. But I truly found love when I found Jesus. He took my loneliness away and gave me a feeling of completeness that I never knew I could experience by myself. This is the most content I have been single… ever! Like I said, I still would like to be married, but that desire is not the same, and I feel more neutral about it. If it comes, I will be happy, and if it doesn’t come, I will be happy. My desire to please God is greater than finding a husband. I want to be intentional about everything I do, and that includes dating. I don’t want to date for the sake of dating. I am not sure what that looks like for me, but I feel sure for now that it doesn’t include online dating just yet.

To all my singles out there, have patience and trust God with your heart. He will not break it. Let God fulfil you instead of looking for someone else to do that. If you want to date, then date! But keep God in your dating, He always knows best. Remember to test the spirits and look to the fruit they produce. If you don’t want to marry, that’s fine too. Being single and serving the Lord with all your heart is not bad. It is a beautiful thing! So don’t let this season get you down, focus on God, and pray about what you want. Be specific. It helps you to know what you actually want in a partner. Trust that in His perfect timing, when we pray for good things that please God, He will fullfill and we shall receive!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND GOD’S LOVE FOR YOU?

This week I had a deeper revelation of God’s love for me that absolutely wrecked me and brought me to tears! Of course when you become a follower of Christ, you are told about how much God loves you because He sacrificed His one and only Son for us, I mean who out here would sacrifice like that for you out of love? We might go a step further and call someone crazy for doing such a thing! But really anyone who has a loving, nurturing parent knows that without hesitation they would give their life for their child! Well we have the ultimate parent who did just that for each and everyone of us! So yes I grasped that notion that God loves us, but to be honest its been a concept that has been floating on the surface, mainly because I think I have issues with accepting true unconditional love, deep I know, but the Holy Spirit is revealing so much I didn’t know was there! I am reading the Bible and getting free therapy sessions from my counsellor! I am being refined, really made a new and it is a long process but I know it is so necessary to my walk. Sometimes we don’t even know how much we have hidden until we truly dig deep within ourselves! I can’t say I would ever truly fathom how deep God’s love runs for us but something hit me while studying the Book of Ephesians this week.

I think its fair to say I was left truly humbled and feeling unworthy, a feeling I don’t think I truly comprehended before! Please do not mistake me for being arrogant before God, never have and never will! I always humble myself, WE must ALL humble ourselves before God! But something clicked today about how God SEE’S me that took me to another level of humble. I realised that the disconnect came from how I view myself! I realised that I don’t see myself through God’s eyes, the vision I have is flawed, this is why the idea of God’s unconditional love for me wasn’t really penetrating the way it should! I really couldn’t comprehend it for myself. It’s funny because I will be the first to tell YOU God loves you with conviction, but I noticed that I was skimming past the notion when it came to myself! This revealed to me I have a heart issue, well I should say the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had an issue with the posture of my heart. We have a God who is a searcher of hearts and minds, so if something is not right trust and believe He will show you. The great thing about all of this is that I would of been still unaware of this issue if I hadn’t of picked up my Bible! This is why I will always say PLEASE READ YOUR BIBLES! If you want to experience true change, growth and Knowledge, it will come from God’s word, the source! The revelation for me was “maybe I don’t love myself the way I should?” I know we have all heard that saying ” if we can’t love ourselves how can we love anyone else!?” or something to that same affect. There is a definite truth to that I believe, because if I was made in the image and likeness of God but somehow have a problem with myself, it made me think how that had to have a knock on effect with how I receive God’s love!?! When we truly receive or understand why God loves us and how much He loves us, we experience a change within, and our hearts are bursting with joy! It promotes a change in our spirits and now our eyes and hearts are focused on Jesus, and what we focus on is what we emulate! So it’s fair to say we start to become more consecrated and Holy!

Now I know that feelings of unworthiness is advised to keep you humble, even the Apostle Paul refers to himself as undeserving! EPHESIANS 3:8 “ALTHOUGH I AM LESS THAN THE LEAST OF ALL THE LORD’S PEOPLE, THIS GRACE WAS GIVEN TO ME: TO PREACH TO THE GENTILES THE BOUNDLESS RICHES OF CHRIST” But even in his unworthiness and his acknowledgment of it, he doesn’t let it cripple him from doing what God has tasked him to do, he seems to accept God’s love, God’s grace, and get straight to business sharing the Good News, seeing his position as a privilege to serve! The problem with me or with us as a body of believers is that we can sometimes let that unworthiness stop us from doing what we have been called to do! Sometimes we can have trust issues that run deep from dealing with the disappointment of people. We become so jaded by this world we live in, when someone does anything for us we become suspicious, asking “why?” instead of just accepting a good deed with gratitude and moving on! This world has sold us a lie on love. When you think about it, it’s not surprising being that satan rules down here, and he is ALWAYS going to give us a perverted version of God’s way. Down here people do things for others disguised as love, but wait with expectation for you to reciprocate, because if you don’t then they get to remind you off all the things they did for you, and the things you don’t do is how they measure love. Down here love is love, meaning we all get to do whatever we like and nobody can tell you otherwise because that is not deemed as loving! (let me not get too carried away there!) But God say’s to us ” I love you despite of yourself, I love you because I made you, I love you even though you do not get it right all the time” and most importantly we can not skim by this “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” 1 John 4:9.

So the part that took my breath away in the book of Ephesians, and mind you I have yet to properly finish it, even though it is a short book there is so much to edify the spirit, I am going through it with a fine toothed comb! Earlier I mentioned how God saw me, and how it was different to how I saw myself. Well it’s Paul revealing the mysteries of God’s plan through Christ that humbled me. Let me see if I can break it down for you.

YOU are IMPORTANT! Let me start of there. You might look at your life now, and not feel much optimism about where or what this life has to offer you, but let me help you understand the way it clicked for me. Before God created the world He had a plan for YOU! He loved you so much He chose you, because He knew you already! Take a moment and let that set in…. Now His plan for you was to be Holy (EPHESIANS 1:4), and the Hebrew word for Holy means to be set apart! But set apart from what? Well if this was his plan before the world was created the only thing I could see was that He set us apart from the Angels, as that seemed to be the story less talked about when we think of the fall of satan which we know happened before God created the earth! Now stay with me here because it was reading further that solidified that idea for me! Because of man’s fall from grace with Adam and Eve, we were spiritually dead because it has become our nature to live in disobedience to God, we live to follow the desires of our flesh, doing what “feels” right at the whim of our sinful nature! EPHESIANS 2:2 “YOU USED TO LIVE IN SIN, JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD, OBEYING THE DEVIL-THE COMMANDER OF THE POWERS OF THE UNSEEN WORLD. HE IS THE SPIRIT AT WORK IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO REFUSE TO OBEY GOD.” Imagine living under the wrath of God because of our disobedience! And even though we lived this way God still planned a way for us to be reconciled to Him! That is love, a love I will never fully realise, because usually when people do me wrong consistently my response isn’t to find a way to reconcile. But God being so full of grace saved you through Christ! He purchased your freedom with the blood of his only Son, because He knew that was the only way you could draw close to Him, the only way your sin’s could be forgiven so you could have eternal life and gain a seat with Him in the heavenly place through Christ! Because of your belief in Christ, you are saved by the grace of God which is a gift, and this has nothing to do with all the good you have done, so that you can not boast! (EPHESIANS 2:8-9)

So as unworthy as we may be, God still wants to redeem us! So even now as believers in Christ, when we let that feeling of unworthiness start to cripple us, its this knowledge of God’s love for us that should have us back on task like Paul! EPHESIANS 3:10 “GOD’S PURPOSE IN ALL THIS WAS TO USE THE CHURCH TO DISPLAY HIS WISDOM IN IT’S RICH VARIETY TO ALL THE UNSEEN RULERS AND AUTHORITIES IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES.” Remember when I talked about being set apart from the angels? Well this was the verse that solidified it for me! Doesn’t that blow your mind, or is it just me? When you believed in Christ you became part of one body (the church) You received the helper, the Holy Spirit, who was sent to lead you, blessing you with all the gifts of the spirit which come from the heavenly places, this is the sign that you have been purchased through the blood of Christ and a sign you will receive your inheritance that was promised from God! You gain God’s wisdom and it is shown through all the good things you do which He planned from long ago! And all this wisdom you show is just to display the multi faceted God you serve! And like a body we all have different functions, and your function may not look like your neighbours, your function may even seem minute, but its not because nothing about God is minute and nothing about God is unimportant! And all of this is to show these unseen rulers and authorities in heaven the richness that is God because they would never know this about their creator without YOU! I swear I had never looked at it like this before! This is the fun part of being a new believer, it’s learning all these things that let me know the character of my Father, it’s the deeper understanding of all that Jesus Christ has done for me!

I am gonna end with Paul and his prayer for the people of Ephesus, a prayer for spiritual growth for us all! I pray that you who reads this, God will empower you with inner strength, I pray that Christ will truly make a home in your heart, so that your faith will keep you grounded in his peace so that you will experience his love for you “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” Ephesians 3:18